#it also does NOT help that I went straight from Holmes to around the world bc I think the characters sorta fell flat for me in the latter

[sgt-celestial]

Okay I've decided to FINALLY read the George Harrison encyclopedia WISH ME LUCK !!!!!!!

[maryellencarter]

so apparently having a new lupin thing i am distinctly enjoying (lupin zero) is what it took to get me around to watching the lupin thing i had not seen yet that i really hadn't heard anything positive about (part 6, not counting "the times" which i have already seen and loved the hell out of, but have not managed to watch since july because... you know)

thoughts so far, as of finishing episode 7 (i'm watching the subs then the dub for each episode, which helps me follow details better but definitely takes longer):

* wow. so you know how i like to say about part 5 that, love it or hate it, that is a piece of media that knew exactly what it wanted to do and went for it? this is the opposite. the only episode so far that seemed to have an actual goal in mind is the one where the goal was "i am going to retell an ernest hemingway story, and also insert into the dialogue the titles of every other hemingway story in the same collection", which sure did do what it set out to do, but was it a thing worth setting out to do?

...well, given that i am told the guest writers for each non-main-plot episode in the first half were all instructed "you must base your episode on a specific piece of crime fiction", i have to admit that playing the world's most pretentious version of the game where you try to write a paragraph without any E's in it was... probably the most Mamoru Oshii possible way of complying with a stupid requirement, and definitely hewed closer to the spirit of the rule than the one where NPCs with names relevant to Ellery Queen did fuck-all of importance.

episode by episode:

* "enter sherlock holmes". in which sherlock holmes looks a great deal like somebody tried to make a 2D version of first!jigen and failed to grasp why first!jigen is sexy. also in the english version all the brits are dubbed by american-sounding americans, which is the most auditorily disorienting version of sherlock holmes i have heard (although i must admit i never did get around to watching the veggietales version, but if there's one thing the veggietales guys have demonstrated their commitment to doing from day one, it's accents... and now I'm humming "oh no, what we gonna do")

where the fuck was i? right. so albert gets worfed to demonstrate that holmes is a badass. why on earth albert would be doing spy work personally in a country where he *doesn't* have millions i've strings to pull, i have no fucking idea. also him going straight to "shoot myself in the head with my last bullet" as an exit strategy compares really badly to the bit in part 5 which... either it was supposed to mirror this, or somebody just failed to do their research, but that moment near the end of part 5 where jigen's on the run alone, down to his last bullet, there are multiple guys about to come around the corner and capture or kill him, and then albert rescues him.

and yeah, that's a moment where you have to wonder if it crossed jigen's mind to use his last bullet for himself instead of going down fighting a hopeless fight, but jigen has never been someone who -- i can't recall a single moment in 53 years that we've seen him actively ready to die. he does plenty of self-destructive shit, but even when a fight can't logically be won, he keeps fighting, even if all he can do is run his mouth. having albert jump straight to suicide in a scene that *has* to be a callback... it doesn't feel right thematically and it doesn't speak to a great understanding of albert as a character (such as he's been so far).

oh yeah, also there was the intial setup for the antagonist secret society "the raven", whose mysterious hooded executioner blew up a guy in protective custody in scotland yard. they weren't terribly impressive. even though i haven't actually seen twcfm, only read spoilers, i feel like a creepy bird-themed secret society is maybe something you're not gonna beat that show on using well?

* "detective and crook". in which jigen and goemon also get worfed to further prove that holmes is a badass. jeez, guys, just give him purple eyes and lavender hair already, huh? lupin also continues his mary-poppins-esque habit of never explaining anything. we do get jigen riding on the back of fujiko's motorcycle, which is a rarity (and keeping his hands where they belong, as opposed to Lupin). fujiko sticks a scroll of paper down her cleavage a la first contact, so that the camera can zoom in on it for maximum jiggle physics opportunity. and lupin blows up a whole-ass demolition site full of cops including zenigata and yata -- none of whom get hurt, but *wow*, that's a life choice.

* "adventure along the (replica) transcontinental railroad". in which lupin wears the biggest turban you ever saw, npcs with ellery queen names do nothing much, fujiko gets whole-ass tied to railroad tracks dudley do-right style and nearly beheaded, jigen and goemon ride a bicycle built for two and also pretend to be cosplaying as themselves in order to throw zenigata off the scent (in the dub, goemon suggests that zenigata page lupin to the front desk like a lost child, which is delightfully goemon), and jigen gets to do some fancy trick shooting that i still don't understand after seeing it twice in order to flip a railway switch and send the runaway train onto a siding. he shot a streetlight and something flew out and somehow that made the switch do the thing?

* "the killers in the diner". in which mamoru oshii plays silly buggers with hemingway titles, lupin and jigen in disguise are voiced by other actors until they're revealed (which has barely ever happened... in the english dub at least, i can think of *one* time a disguised lupin was voiced by lex lang for a scene, that's it), fujiko appears to be disguised as an extremely depressed pippi longstocking for reasons that are never explained, and a bunch of japanese people get to take a fairly reasonable stab at pronouncing "dulles". also it's established that fujiko is bad at cooking, which i think might have been fanon previously but i can't think of anywhere else it was actually established.

* "the imperial city dreams of thieves". a two-parter in which lupin gets dropped into a world based on the works of japanese mystery author edogawa ranpo (this was a pen name based on the name "edgar allan poe"). it's pretty solidly paced for the most part, which is not something you can really count on part 6 for so far, but it's also... well.

so. it's a story set in the late 1920s, about a giant mysterious golden clock/orrery from mongolia, guarded by the heirs of genghis khan, one of whom decides that entrusting it to a young female japanese "explorer" (visually coded very much like the white egyptologists of the era, similarly dedicated to bringing back other cultures' precious artifacts for display, and treated as an unquestionably virtuous character) is obviously the wise and correct choice to keep it out of harm's way -- the youthful guardian of the device accompanying the explorer back to japan as a bodyguard and servant, as well as continuing to guard the clock.

the japanese imperial army, who (the episode does not explain) are most of the reason there's all this war and unrest on the mainland that make the clock's guardian decide it's better off in civilized japan (okay the episode *all but* says the civilized part out loud)... where was i? right. the japanese imperial army, who are busy conquering mainland countries in the whole pan-asian empire thing they did in the run-up to world war ii (christ, it's been forever since i studied that part of history... if i recall, their selling point was "asia for the asiatics", as in they wanted white people out, but in practice they wanted to rule all of asia themselves, so it was more like "asia for the japanese empire") -- the japanese imperial army want the clock in order to give it to a puppet dictator they'll install in mongolia. our young explorer, who is the daughter of a powerful... department store conglomerate?... look, i'm sure it packs some kind of an emotional punch in japanese, but now i'm just cracking myself up imagining the heiress of like woolworth's or sears roebuck facing off against the fbi.

anyway. as i was saying. our young heroine declines to give away the clock, as having it on display at her family's department store is clearly the best place for the cultural artifact that determines rulership of mongolia. (i'm being sarcastic. the episode isn't.) kidnapping and shenanigans ensue.

also, as you would expect from an alternate universe story, there are characters who look exactly like the lupin crew. lupin is put into the role of "golden mask", a phantom thief edogawa ranpo created based on that most popular of phantom thieves, arsène lupin (the first). fujiko becomes "black lizard", a femme fatale originally working with the villain and face of the japanese army -- i think the villain's name is daidouji, but i think leia also picked that out for one of jigen's aliases in one of our stories, so either she has something she could explain to me or that's a very confusing coincidence.

goemon, it will turn out, is also his real-world self along with lupin -- i'll get there in a minute. zenigata is a fictional (secondary-fictional) police inspector with a slightly different name and an almost identical hat. and jigen... jigen is one of the factors that make this episode what you might call, on the internet, Problematic.

so. the villain is a very large japanese army guy named colonel daidouji. his ever-present shadow and sidekick is a very, very familiar-looking major whose name is not initially given, and who very nearly manages to put a bullet in lupin on first meeting him.

now, jigen's au version being evil, y'know, it's a hard sell, it's not impossible that i'd buy it if it was done right, but the thing is that you never have to buy it. tv shows have this need to make au versions of the heroes always still have some kind of heroic core. the really steep issue comes with what kind of a hero he turns out to be.

the character who looks like jigen is eventually revealed to be a character named major yoshiaki hongo from the works of a writer named minetaro yamanaka (whose first google result for me is, uh, the wikipedia article on antisemitism in japan, that's... probably not irrelevant to my point here?). major hongo, at least as described in the episode, is a badass soldier who goes undercover to root out corruption, which is all very well and good... except for the part where his little speech about who he is and what he's doing here, in both languages, leads with "fighting for the liberation of asia". aka, as we discussed, conquering it for the japanese empire.

which, together with the whole misappropriating cultural treasures with the enthusiastic cooperation and servitude of their native owners arc... really, really makes one wonder about many choices that were made.

(oh yeah, it turns out the whole thing is a virtual reality mindfuck, major hongo's badassful hero reveal moment is basically the last thing that happens before everybody explodes into pixels except lupin and goemon, it turns out somebody was trying to get a passcode to lupin's hideout, which they failed at because he was just that smart, but also a couple of shots at the end of the episode imply that everything did actually happen for real somehow. that part is confusing and rushed. the loving morals about cultural artifacts and the liberation of asia from non-japanese rule take precedence.)

(okay, major hongo had a faceoff with goemon who cut a notch in his cap brim so you could see one of his eyes, that was a *very* cool bit of visual design that you could never do with proper jigen because he would murder you for slicing his hat. and then goemon toppled dramatically off a bridge because he is the biggest drama queen in the entire cast and we're talking *including lupin iii*.)

like. i grew up on (western) fiction from this era and earlier. the part where i notice or mind the imperialism is aftermarket. i can, if i try, shut it off and enjoy the show. but, like writing an episode composed largely of ernest hemingway references... is that a goal worth having? especially in a worldwide political climate like this where it's very beneficial to notice the overton window shifting before it slams shut on your damn fingers.

* "an untold tale". in which zenigata is summarily slandered by both lupin and the writers. lupin deduces that the zenigata he's working with is actually sherlock holmes in disguise based on the premise that zenigata is not someone who does things like... run headlong into danger? selflessly protect innocent bystanders? kick ass? stick to a trail?... and is instead someone who, while having a solid idea of lupin's next destination, goes and gets blackout drunk and passes out in a bar instead of staking it out or at least yelling "LUPIN" a lot in the general vicinity.

i guess there's also plot, supposedly. this consists of lupin explaining his movements at a certain time, clearly and in order, over a flashback that agrees with his description. No unreliable narrator in sight. No evading every question like it's "give Jigen rubber bullets and practice dodging" day at the hideout. Just reading pages of boring exposition while being ineffectually shot at by a Colonel Sebastian Moran wielding one of the clunkiest air-guns I've ever seen the man burdened with.

(I haven't gotten around to watching the dub of this last-named episode yet, but I hear that somebody majorly failed at googling, overcommitted to "all R's in the Japanese must become L's in English", and created the character of Colonel Sebastian *Molan*. I'm not sure I'm gonna have spoons for that one for a bit.)

[thebadboyfanclub]

It’s Alright Darling (Sherlock x Reader)

Ok... Was this requested? No. Am I writing it cause anything Henry Cavill related makes me feel happy? Yes. Enjoy!

Being Sherlock Holmes assistant was something a lot of people would kill for and that makes it even better if you think about the irony of it. However, since Sherlock wasn’t a normal person to mostly everything he did, he had decided to hire a woman as his assistant, Mycroft called him mad and unhinged almost every time he brought up her name. (Y/n) was one of the most intelligent people he had ever been around, combining that with a charming personality was the recipe to success.

“Well, well, well I see my brother is full of surprises”

“Hello there Mycroft is so nice to see you again as well”

She spoke in an clearly ironic tone as she took of her gloves, she was never a fan of hats other than the occasions she knew she would be under the sun for hours. As she walked in the living room area for what seemed like their childhood home, Sherlock had requested for (y/n) to arrive a day later than the brothers, knowing that her and his older brother were like oil and water he chose to “prepare the grounds” first.

“Where is the young little Holmes?”

“Inside, talking with miss Harrison”

“Alright... who is miss Harrison?”

“Miss Harrison is an excellent teacher and a friend of mine, come to think of it maybe you should go in and ask her to take you as well... you might be a bit old but I’m sure she can make an exception”

Mycroft found (y/n) intolerant, she was dismissive, unladylike, mouthy and a feminist, he still does not understand what asset do she brought to his younger brother. She only smiled while sitting at one of the chairs

“I will let you know I was an excellent student in all my academic achievements, although I suppose you were one as well that doesn’t really prove someone’s intelligence or manners, right mister Holmes?”

Sherlock let a laugh be heard at (y/n)’s quick response, even though he would never take sides and sometimes wanted them to get along, he had accepted that it would never happen and simply enjoyed the situation.

“Amused brother? Of course you are as mad as her since you didn’t only hire her, you kept her around and brought her in my home”

“Now Now mister Holmes, what type of gentleman would you be if you threaten to through out not just a lady but your younger brothers guest, unfortunately you are just further proving my point about our little quarrel”

Before he had the chance to respond a young girl walked in, wearing a white undergarment dress and looking disheveled. The girl who (y/n) could only assume was the infamous Enola didn’t even notice her being in this room.

“No, don’t do this to me. Let me remain happy, I am happy here”

“You are a young woman now Enola, you need an education”

“Test me, on anything you think I need to know in order to be sufficient for this world”

“If she taught you so well, you wouldn’t be standing in your undergarment in front of me”

Silence fell in the room for a quick second. His disgusting answer to his own sister made (Y/n) get on her feet, Enola quickly let her gaze fall on the young woman that was now in her house.

“Why is that a problem Mister Holmes? Undergarments are scandalous for the men when a woman they are interested in wears them, she is your underaged sister”

“This is a family matter, it does not- I repeat- does not concern you”

“Of course it does not concern me, but it does concern me when a young girl is being held accountable for walking in her home, to her brothers, completely covered and still being shamed for it”

Enola understood by that quick argument the lady was not here because of Mycroft, so it only meant she was Sherlocks company, she is not his wife since if not invited he would have at least informed their mother, so perhaps a girlfriend?

“Enola you have no hopes of making a husband out of your state, neither do you... miss (y/l/n)”

“I don’t want a husband”

Enola claimed, raising her voice at the ridiculous claim her brother made. Even though they haven’t been properly introduced they had developed a mutually liking for each other, at a brief look they seemed to have the same outlook on life.

“And that is another thing you need to have educated out of you”

At that Enola turned to look at her other brother, Sherlock, who had remained radio silent throughout this entire conversation. Enola kneeled in front of him, as Sherlock looked at her and then broke eye contact to look down at the book he was holding.

“Sherlock, Don’t let him do this to me”

“You are his ward”

“Make me yours. Guide me. Teach me. For him I am nuisance. For you-”

“Enola. I’m sorry, but it’s out of my hands”

“Just like his cruelty to our mother was out of your hands”

Cruelty to their mother? No, Sherlock would have never allowed his mother to go through anything, he is a man of honor... isn’t he? (Y/n) felt her stomach tighten as she saw this tragic scene unravel, she hoped Sherlock would have accepted and took her in.

“She is not dangerous. She is remarkable and always has been. And if you still can’t see that then shame on you both”

“So remarkable she left you in my care”

Mycroft shot back. (Y/n) could almost feel the pain the young girl felt, you could see it in her eyes how that was an arrow straight in her heart. (Y/n) decided to step up and try to help, she approached the young girl with a kind smile and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here to calm down. Seems like your brothers don’t share the same love and admiration you do for the woman that made them who they are”

“I am a self made successful man”

“but you wouldn’t be no man if the woman you frown upon had not broken her hips and went through hours of painful labor. Take that as some food for thought before you school me on my manners”

Sherlock looked at her in awe, as she stood proudly next to his sister and became the shield he should have been. Standing up for a girl you haven’t even spoken to or knew before this.

“Let’s go young Enola, seems like a woman’s presence is wanted here only when she does as she is told”

-

“Come in”

“Can I open this door and be promised that I will remain safe or are you holding a dagger and you are ready to take me out of this world?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, dagger you in your own household? I would probably wait to poison you a few days after we leave and write the paperwork of you firing me”

He smiled at her plan as he closed the door in her room. It was already nightfall and the only light here were a few candles, he had let her take a breather after the unfortunate event that had occurred previously. Even though he wasn’t the one that she went toe to toe with, his silence was as obnoxious to her as his brothers loud ignorance towards the female gender.

“You are upset”

“Of course not, why would I be? It’s not like you let that man embarrass his own sibling and talk down to his mother without her being in the room”

She had remained sited in the chair next to the table, a book open that seemed like she was writing on rather than reading it. He was aware she was holding a journal, he didn’t blame her for it, having a job like she did she was in desperate need of something to keep her sane.

“This is a very wary subject”

“I am aware of it, I just can’t seem to understand why not comfort her, try to change your brothers opinion, anything that will show you care for her, you do care for her, right Sherlock?”

“She is my baby sister (y/n), that’s a given”

She closed her book. She ran her hand through her  through her hair and got up from her sit, her hands going in front of her torso at a defensive demeanor, even when Sherlock should be cold or show his higher position to her, he couldn’t help but seek some type of truce with her, how could he not? She looked so beautiful even when she mad at him, the eyes he was so caught up in looked at him with fury, her delicate feature went harsh and she was dressed more... lightly now.

“I spoke with her earlier, she was in the garden”

“I know, I saw.”

“She asked me about you, asked me if you were my lady”

Her eyes went wide for a split second before regaining her composer and turned her back to him. She approached the window before she spoke.

“If you think of how she became familiar with me, she was probably certain I wasn’t even friends with your holier than God brother”

“You mustn't be angry at me”

“And why is that?”

“Because other than my sister and mother, I care for you and for your opinion about me”

She remained silent. Not only because she was caught off guard by his comment, she also didn’t know what he was talking about. Sherlock stepped closer to her, his steps making her heart flutter and her palms sweaty. He stopped when he was right behind her, he wanted to hug her, caress her, kiss her, still he was uncertain of how she would react.

“I still remember the night you got kidnapped”

Someone that Sherlock had helped uncover had escaped prison and kidnapped her. Luckily, she was retrieved safely yet again she was still shaken up by the scary experience, when Sherlock found her awake next to the fireplace she was so vulnerable and grateful to be alive she launched at him and kissed him passionately.

He shared his bed with her, in the middle of the night though she had gotten up and left, when morning came she acted like nothing had happened, barely even looked at him in the eyes for a week.

“Please Sherlock don’t pick at my brain”

“Why did you leave that night? Did you regret it that much”

“That night... was the most blissful I have ever been.... However you are still my boss Sherlock”

“That’s all I am to you? Your boss?”

(Y/n) turned to look at him, tears welling up in her eyes. Those eyes would be the death of him, it was with no doubt the window to her soul, that pure gentle soul of hers.

“What am I to you then Sherlock? This wasn’t just about me”

“You are.... what I never knew I needed”

His hands went up to her forearms instinctively, a soft caress that made her think his hands were made out of the finest silk, she felt goosebumps as he touched her. Her lips parted slightly as she took in a heavy breath, her eyes searching for a hint of a lie in his words.

“Sherlock”

“Shhhhh, It’s alright darling. You don’t have to say anything”

At that he slowly leaned in, his lips on top of hers at a shy and gentle kiss. Her hand went to his neck, bringing her torso to touch his as the kiss deepened, her entire body felt a rush go through it as they should the passion they held for each other with this kiss. As she pulled back her fingertips traveled to his face, taking in his attractive features

“I had almost forgotten how good of a kisser you are”

“Oh love, you will never forget it ever again”

[rainydaydream-gal18]

Sherlock x Reader: Sentiment

    Author’s Note(s):  I struggle publishing Sherlock fics because as a Christian I personally disagree with his statements about God on the show and find it insulting actually. However, I otherwise enjoy the show and enjoy writing fics with his character.  Enjoy!  I hope you likez!

   “Sentiment?  Me?”  Sherlock scoffed.  “A very amusing notion indeed, but I’m afraid the idea is rather ridiculous, and I have places to be.”  He turned on his heels and began to walk out of the library.

   There was a sigh of annoyance.  “Yes, Sherlock, I am talking about sentiment.”  That statement caused the consulting detective to halt his smug strut altogether.  He lingered at the doorway, hands in his coat pockets, staring straight ahead.  Mycroft lifted a brow at his brother’s reaction, unfolding his hands and rising from his desk.  “I know what she means to you.”

   Sherlock turned his head to shoot a sideways glance over his shoulder.  “Who?”

   Mycroft rolled his eyes.  “Who do you think?”  His voice held the slightest edge to it, showing his impatience.  “I have already seen the signs.  You may have convinced the rest of the world, but you can’t fool me, brother mine.”

   “You’re mistaken,” Sherlock replied, though his voice sounded less sure, less convincing.

   “I don’t believe I am, but that’s beside the point.  The point is you need to stay aware.  Having your friend, John Watson, in the way is dangerous as it is...but to fall in love with __________ leaves you vulnerable in an entirely different way.”

   - 

   You turned your face away from the computer screen to shoot Mycroft a look of disbelief from across the desk.  “Wait, wait.  What is this?”  He paused the video as you continued.  “You said you’d explain why a few of your goons were following me at the market.”

   “They aren’t goons,” Mycroft chided with the raise of his brow.  “They are agents.  And I’m getting to that part.  So please…”  He gave a crisp smile.  “Keep watching.”

   You shut your eyes and exhaled deeply.  “But I’m not sure I should even see this.”  

   It was footage of an apparent conversation between the two brothers that you presumed had happened fairly recently.  The idea of getting a glimpse into Sherlock’s true feelings was uncomfortable, yet intriguing, and also downright terrifying.  Even though part of you hoped for him to feel something for you, the other side of you accepted that it may not be the case.  He was always quite serious about his work, and you were glad to be one of his few friends anyway.

   “I assure you,” Mycroft continued.  “It is rather important that you see this.  It’s a matter of national security.”

   “National security,” you deadpanned.  “Well, I guess you mean business if you’re playing that card.”  You shrugged your shoulders and leaned back in the leather chair.  “Alright then.”

   Mycroft resumed the video, and you reluctantly turned your eyes back to the screen.

   -

   “...The point is you need to stay aware.  Having your friend, John Watson, in the way is dangerous as it is...but to fall in love with ___________ leaves you vulnerable in an entirely different way.”

   “On the contrary, their wisdom and expertise have strengthened my abilities on these cases,” Sherlock countered, regaining his composure.

   “Ah, so you don’t deny that you’ve fallen in love?” the Mycroft on the screen asked, and in the present time you felt your heart skip a beat.

   Sherlock finally turned around to face him in the video, face blank. “Didn’t think I needed to.  You should know better, Mycroft.  Sentiment is not my style- especially not love.”  It was said without hesitation, and you released a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

  Mycroft in the video shook his head, exhaling.  “All I’m saying is you must stay alert.  If your enemies realize what she is to you, it could mean danger for __________ and you.”

   “Good afternoon, Mycroft.”  Sherlock spoke his farewell without a pause and walked out of the library.  The screen went dark, and you shook your head.

   -

   “So tell me again what the point of that was?”  You hoped your expression didn’t betray your pain, but with someone like Mycroft on the other side of the desk, you were basically an open book.  “Is this footage your way of showing me he doesn’t care about me and telling me that I need to get out of the way?”

   Mycroft’s brows furrowed.  “I thought it was rather self-explanatory, but perhaps I need to explain.”

   “Explain what?”

   His tone grew sharper, and his gaze seemed to demand that you meet it.  “That Sherlock Holmes is in love with you.”

   Your mouth fell open as you stared back at him.  Several moments passed as you processed this information.  You at first felt elated, then disbelief, and finally you settled for being skeptical.  A chuckle spilled out.  “What makes you say that?  He just said that love isn’t his style.”

   “My brother has the ability to observe.  That ability has helped him to reign in his own emotions and allowed him to put on a mask, so to speak.  However, I can see past the mask if I know what to look for- which of course I do.  It was unmistakable; the slight quirk of his brow, the way he maintained eye contact to try and convince me, and the flash of emotion in his eyes.”

“Are you sure you’re not mistaken?”

   “_____________, you’ve seen my ability up close.  I see things that many do not, and these are the things I see.”  Your gaze fell to rest on the wooden desk in front of you.  You weren’t sure how to respond at first.  “Sherlock is in love with you,” he continued.  “And I gather that you’ve felt similarly toward him for quite some time.  I can assume you have his best interest at heart.”

   You met his eyes again, nodding.  “Of course.”

   “Then you realize why you must be protected.”

   It was like the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together.  You gasped softly in realization.  “That’s what this is about?  Protecting me so I can’t be used by some villain to get to him?”  Your cheeks grew warm.  You knew deep down that he cared about you and John more than he let on to the world around him, but you had no idea he felt this way for you.

   “Indeed.  So, we have reached an understanding, then.”

   You hesitated.  “Not quite.  I don’t know if I like the idea of being followed.  Your agents weren’t exactly subtle the first time.”  He went silent, and you laughed.  “You wanted me to see them.  You wanted us to have this conversation.  Either way, I still don’t like it.”

   “Well,” Mycroft folded his hands on the desk.  “I suppose there’s an alternative.  Less security would be required if you had some more training.”

   “Training,” you echoed.  “To fight?”

   “Yes, among other things.  You’d learn to hone your already-developing observation skills and learn more about criminals and psychological profiles.  You are a strong young woman, and I know you can take care of yourself.  Still, the concern I have for my brother and his friends would be eased.  I have a course prepared for you, much like how we train our agents...should you accept.”

   “That sounds pretty interesting,” you said with a nod.  “I accept.”

   “I’m very glad to hear that, ____________.  Training starts at the beginning of next week.  I will be handling your training myself, actually.”

   “Alright.”  You offered your hand across the desk expectantly, and he smiled again as he shook it, though that smile seemed more genuine.  “Thanks.”

   “I’ll have the car take you home,” he said with a nod.

   - - - - - - - - - - - - 

   You made your way up the stairs, trying to calm your thoughts.  The drive back to the flat had your mind buzzing with questions.  You wondered what it would be like to hone your skills.  Ever since you started working with John and Sherlock, you had looked into self-defense in order to be helpful in a pinch, but the kind of training Mycroft offered would be beyond your usual self-defense class.  However, you still weren’t ready to tell your friends about the situation, especially Sherlock.  They might not approve at first.

   The flat was only lit by a fire in the fireplace when you entered.  It already appeared that John had retired for the evening.  Sherlock was in his chair with a cup of tea in hand, the fire bathing his features in a warm glow and casting shadows in the room.

   “Where were you?” his voice rumbled.

   “Out.”  Vagueness would be seen as suspicious, but you could not get away with lying to him.  You didn’t want to anyway.  His blue eyes reflecting orange light turned to you, and you knew he was scanning you for any clues.

   “Did you remember to stop on the way home and pick up that package?”

   You sighed.  “I’m sorry, I got side-tracked.  I’ll go back out and…”

   “No, no, no,” he said quickly.  “Don’t concern yourself.  It’s late in the evening.”

   “You sure?”

   “Go and rest.  I’m sure Mycroft nearly bored you to sleep with his rambling.”

   You halted.  There was no point in asking how he knew you had spoken with his brother.  He stared at you with clasped hands touching his chin with interest.

   “Yeah... anyway, goodnight,” you muttered, turning to walk away again.

   “___________.”  He said your name so deeply it kept you frozen in place.  The consulting detective rose from his chair and approached until he was in your space.  You were surprised at how close was that you instinctively took a step back only for him to step with you.  “You spoke with Mycroft, and it was something you intended to keep from me.”

   “So?” you breathed.

   His gaze never left yours as he continued.  “You know very well that he is my arch nemesis.  I think I have a right to know what was said.”

   “It doesn’t concern you.”

   His eyes widened ever so slightly.  “Ah, but I think it does, or else you would not be so secretive about it.  The question is; what is it?  You can tell me, or perhaps I’ll just have to find out on my own.”  Sherlock leaned in, and you found yourself unable to think straight for a few seconds before finding your words.

   “Not that it’s any of your business,” you said quickly.  “But I’ve agreed to let Mycroft train me.  And don’t do that.”  You took a step back, placing a hand on his shoulder to gently push him away.  “You can use attraction to your advantage when you’re on cases, but not with me.”

   His brows furrowed.  “What?”

   “I’m not a fool, Sherlock.  I know you know what I feel for you, and I don’t like you getting in my space and using it to get what you want.”

   He took a step back and averted his eyes.  “That was not my intention, I assure you.”

   “Then why were you standing so close?”

   “Because I wanted to,” he said simply.  

   Silence followed his reply.  It lasted for nearly a minute.  He looked at the fire, and you released a quiet sigh.

   “Mycroft is concerned about you.”

   Sherlock scoffed.

   “He is concerned that John and I both make you vulnerable,” you continued.  “But that I make you vulnerable in a different way.  He has assigned agents to protect me, but since I wasn’t crazy about that idea, he gave an alternative.  I am going to hone my mental and physical abilities to better protect myself and you.”

   “Mycroft and I disagree on many things,” Sherlock said.  “But this, I think we agree on this.”

   “You do?”  You had not expected him to.  Sherlock Holmes could come across as quite arrogant at times and did not think he needed to be protected by anyone.

   “I think honing your skills is a good idea,” he nodded.  “To better protect yourself, not me.”

   And there it is.

   “But Sherlock-”

   “However, I’d like to propose an alternative to Mycroft’s alternative.”  He extended his hand, his bright eyes darting up to meet yours.  You took it, and he pulled you closer so that your other hand rested on his chest while his other arm wrapped around you.  “I help you with your training.”

   “Why would you want to do that?”

   He hesitated, lips parting to release words that did not emerge.  His eyes continued to search yours from mere inches away before he found his voice again.  “Because I care about you.  I want you to be safe... not for my sake, but for yours.”

   “A-alright,” you whispered.  You glanced at his lips without thinking and forced yourself to focus again on his eyes.  Sherlock definitely noticed it.

   “Do you want to kiss me?”  The question was spoken so matter-of-factly that you almost didn’t process it.

   “Do you want to kiss me?” you returned.  Despite your position in his arms, admitting you wanted the contact strangely felt too intimate.  Deep down you were afraid he’d pull away and go back to be the cold, distant Sherlock he was when you met him.

   “I believe I asked first.”  He chuckled, and you found yourself laughing.  “But I will say that, yes, I do want to.”

   “Then what are you waiting for?”

   “I-”

   “Oh, hey _________, hey Sher-” John’s voice greeted casually as he walked past only to be cut off as he took a few steps back in surprise.  “Oh, am I interrupting?”

   You pulled away from Sherlock in embarrassment. “No, we were just…”

   “It was an experiment,” he said quickly.

   “Right, an experiment.”  You laughed nervously.  “Anyway, the experiment was a success.  Goodnight to both of you gentlemen.”  You stole one last bashful look at the curly-haired detective before heading for the stairwell.  On your way up, you heard John’s voice talking to Sherlock in a hushed tone.

   “Were the two of you just….about to kiss?”

   “What’s it to you?”

   “It’s just,” John chuckled.  “I didn’t think you were into...that sort of...thing.  Romance, I mean.”

   “Goodnight, John.”

   “But-”

   “Goodnight.”

   That night you laid in bed wide awake.  Your heart kept fluttering as if you were in Sherlock’s arms again.  As if his eyes were still gazing into yours.  As if his voice was still speaking to you so deeply.  What would tomorrow bring?  What was next?

   You weren’t sure.  One thing you did know for certain was that training would be interesting.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: I really enjoy your erudite and literary posts about James Bond in your blog very much. Your most recent post about Connery as best cinematic Bond and Dalton as the best literary Bond was brilliant. Although the PC brigade have been inching towards making Bond a woman or even non-white, Ian Fleming’s legacy of a suave but cold hearted English gentleman spy hasn’t been completely trashed. As someone familiar with Fleming literary lore can you also tell me where was James Bond educated? Was it Oxford or Cambridge? I was having a discussion over Zoom with friends and the Oxonians like myself thought it was Oxford because in Casino Royale with Daniel Craig it’s made very plain it was Oxford. Your thoughts?

I appreciate your kind words about my posts on James Bond and his creator Ian Fleming. It’s very hard to ignore the cinematic James Bond because he is very much an icon of our modern culture that needs no translation to transcend across cultures. Alongside Sherlock Holmes, another British literary and cinematic export, the name alone speak for itself.

James Bond appeals to both genders very well.

For the men, Bond dresses well and lives in a care free way. He is both ferociously intelligent and resourceful to get out of any tight corner. He drives incredible cars (from the incredibly stylish Aston Martin DB5 to the incredibly awful AMC Hornet) and uses awesome technology (he is the archetypal boy with toys). He's not afraid to get down in the dirt to fight or engage in lethal gun-play and spectacular car chases. He sleeps with beautiful women, regardless how strong and independent they are (or even lesbian if we’re being honest about Pussy Galore).

For us ladies, while he's not averse to action, he's also a cultured gentleman with suave and sophisticated manners. He's also a generally pretty good looking guy. In many ways, he's a conventional male ideal. So while his conventional good looks and manners aren't for everyone, they hit right the sweet spot of what women like. For everyone, he's a spy! Not at a grey real world nondescript spy, but a cool spy fighting larger than life bad guys whose bland sartorial choices scream mad super villain. It's a very black and white world that James Bond lives in. These bad guys truly are villainous in the desire to re-order humanity, and we need a debonair British MI6 agent to save us from these mad men who want to harm us by laying waste to a bonkers Armageddon.

When all is said and done I think that what makes James Bond so iconic across gender and generations is what Raymond Chandler wrote back in 1959, “every man wants to be James Bond and every woman wants to be with him”.

That sounds about right. Men want to be him, women want to be with him.

I know my first introduction to James Bond was through my grandfather on my  Anglo-Scots father’s side who was a dashing gentleman in his day with a long rumoured hush hush work for Her Majesty’s government firmly shoved under the carpet to avoid further discussion that he - being self-effacing and humble - would find embarrassing that would paint him in any heroic light. Years later he had bought his Bahamas beach pile in Harbour Island out in the Caribbean for the family to rest up from cold winters in Britain. Amongst his immense stack of books dotted around the place were (and still are) first editions of Flemings novels which a few were signed by the author as he on occasion met Ian Fleming when he would sail over to Jamaica (they were also OEs which helped). We were not allowed to touch these but instead picked up the dog earred paperbacks that still retained their 60s musty smell.

On my teen sojourns there I would spend time along with my siblings just reading anything we could find to take to the beach or lounge around in a hammock or a chaise longue. That’s how I came to read the Fleming books - really out of necessity to avoid boredom on a beach (which isn’t really my thing as I prefer the rugged outdoors). But I was pleasantly surprised how well written the books were and I actually enjoyed the stories; it was a refreshing change from the more heavy literary tomes I was trying hard to wade through. As for the Bond films, I watched them on film nights at boarding school; I remember having a school girl crush on Connery, Dalton, and Brosnan.

There are many reasons for the successful longevity of James Bond in popular culture and literature but perhaps one of the most pertinent to our discussion is that James Bond is actually a blank slate and therefore malleable as a character and so he can capture the current zeitgeist in time.

This ability of the film to adapt to different generations while remaining relevant is an important factor for its longevity. For example, the early James Bond films were unashamedly sexist with characters using women as objects and discarding them. In the most recent James Bond films, certainly starting with Timothy Dalton, there is a subtle change in attitude with a few chauvinist attitudes.

James Bond today is more serious, seduces fewer women, and is more respectful towards women in his life, including his boss. This shows how the film changes concerning the rise of feminism in the West. For example, Miss Moneypenny used to be a minor character in the very first James Bond films. Today, she is more formidable and doesn’t tolerate sexist remarks.

Perhaps it is precisely because of this blank slate malleability that has allowed different actors that have been cast to play James Bond their own way - rather than get a straight like for like Scottish sounding actor to replacing Connery for example the film producers went across to Moore via Lazenby for example  - and letting each actor imbue the super spy with different moods. They each added their own colour from the same broad palate to create different tones. However, each of these characters maintained the essential character that defines James Bond. The actors have broadly stayed true to the inherent mix of character and class associated with James Bond.

For this reason I have some empathy towards your concern that Bond would be held hostage to the current zeitgeist of white washing or genderising everything so as to avoid being a victim of cancel culture. But it’s only empathy because I feel there is a danger of misunderstanding just who James Bond is and what he represents.

What do I mean by this?

I mentioned James Bond is a malleable character to the point he’s presented as a blank slate. This is ‘literally’ true - certainly as far as the books go. Ian Fleming doesn’t tell us much about Bond other than his appearance in his books. Indeed - as I mentioned in my past blog post on Connery as the best Bond - Fleming wasn’t convinced by Connery as Bond. He was reported to have said, ‘I’m looking for Commander Bond and not an overgrown stuntman’ and even dismissed Connery as “that fucking truck driver”. Fleming has good reason to rage. His Bond as written in the books was someone like him.

Like Fleming, Bond was an Eton educated Englishman; an officer and a (rogue) gentleman who was a lieutenant-commander in Naval Intelligence. As Connery began to wow and win over Fleming as Bond, Fleming had a change of heart. Fleming in his later Bond books re-wrote a half-Scottish ancestry for Bond as a tribute to Connery’s portrayal. Bond’s Scottish father was a Royal Navy captain and later an arms dealer, Andrew Bond from Glencoe; and his mother, Monique Delacroix, was Swiss from an industrial family. Bond himself was born in Zurich. Bond isn’t English at all but half-Scots and half-Swiss according to literary canon.

So I mention this because the question who can play James Bond is not as straight forward as it might seem.

But clearly we now have a canon of work, both cinematically and in the literature, where we have base line of who Bond is - or what audiences could possibly suspend their disbelief and go with what is presented to them as James Bond.

I do vaguely remember the hullabaloo and hand wringing around Daniel Craig playing Bond because he didn’t conform to the traditional tall, dark, and handsome trope of James Bond super suave spy. People couldn’t get past his blond hair. Some still can’t. But in my humble opinion he has been an outstanding James Bond and has reimagined Bond in a fresh and exciting way. Craig is in fact mining the Fleming books for his characterisation of Bond as a suave, gritty, humourless killer of the books. Dalton got there before him but that’s a moot point. To our current generation Craig has modernised Bond and dusted 007 down from being a relic of the Cold War to being a relevant 21st Century super spy.

Can anyone play James Bond OO7? Yes and no. It’s arguing that two different things are one and the same. They are not. James Bond is separate from OO7.  

Can a woman play Jane Bond or a black woman or non-white man play Black Bond? Respectfully, no. That’s not who James Bond is.

James Bond is a flesh and blood character with a specific genealogical history - whether in the books or on the screen. This Bond has literary back story that is canon and makes him who he is. Bond does transcend time - he can’t be 38 years old for over 75 years in the real world - but at the same time his character only makes sense when rooted in a specific historic context we know existed (and still exists) and not some wishy washy make believe fantasy of British society. He’s an Old Etonian and therefore an upper middle class male product of the British establishment that is identifiable in a very British cultural context.

Jane Bond would have to have gone to Cheltenham Ladies College, Benneden, or Roedean I suppose if we are talking about equivalence - but such girls’ boarding schools were not the breeding ground for future spies (more likely they married them or became trusted secretaries in the intelligence services as well as flower arranging in their Anglican parish church).

I believe they are letting in black pupils on bursaries at Eton these days to be more inclusive but again it’s an an exception not the rule and Eton doesn’t even get public credit for the inclusive work they try to do because it’s not well known.

Moreover we know Bond loses his Scottish-Swiss parents in a skiing accident. I don’t mean to sound racist but I ski a lot in Switzerland and I can say you don’t really find droves of non-white skiers on the slopes of Verbier or Zermatt. Of course there are a few but it’s the exception and not the norm. Again, I’m not trying to be racist but just point out some obvious things when it pertains to the credibility of character that underlines who Bond is. You pull one thread out of the literary biography and the danger is the rest of the tapestry will unravel.

Of course one could try and go for a Black Bond on screen and then hope there is a huge suspension of belief on the part of the audience. But I suspect it’s a bridge too far. It just doesn’t fit. Audiences around the world have an image of who Bond is - British at the very least but also male (damaged and flawed in many ways) and coming from a specific British social class background that serves as an entree to a closed world of English gentleman clubs, Savile Row, English sports cars, and the hushed corridors of Whitehall.

Any woke film maker with an ounce of creative vision and talent and one who is invested in this would be better off creating a new character entirely - with their own specific biography that is both believable and relatable. Can you imagine an American James Bond? What a ghastly thought. Or worse a Canadian one? Canadians are far too nice and far too apologetic to produce a cruel cold eyed killer. But look what clever film makers like Spielberg and Lucas did with Indiana Jones and even later Doug Liman did with Jason Bourne - both fantastic creations that are part of the cultural zeitgeist now.

Or look at Charlize Theron who plays a MI6/CIA/KGB triple agent in Atomic Blonde or Rebecca Ferguson as Ilsa Faust in any of the Mission Impossible movies. I would eagerly watch any movies with these two badass women on the screen. All this talk about making Bond a woman or even coloured is just lazy thinking at best and at worst kow towing to the populist tides of PC brigade.

But I firmly believe one can have a female and a person of colour portraying 007. This is because James Bond and OO7 are two different things entirely. Many mistakenly believe 007 is Bond’s own code name and specific alias to him alone.  

007 is a license to kill for a very specialised kind of intelligence officer. Bond has that privilege for as long as he serves at the service of Her Majesty’s pleasure. His 007 license can be revoked - and it has been in the past Bond films - and he’s back to being a just another desk jockey civil servant in Whitehall. So my point is OO7 is not sacred to Bond’s identity. Bond could continue to be Bond even if M took away his 007 license to kill.

The origins of the Double O title may date to Fleming's wartime service in Naval Intelligence. According to World War Two historian Damien Lewis in his book Churchill's Secret Warriors, agents of the Special Operations Executive (SOE) were given a “0” prefix when they became "zero-rated" upon completion of training in how to kill. As part of his role as assistant to the head of naval intelligence, Rear Admiral John Godfrey (himself the inspiration for M), Fleming acted as liaison to the SOE.

In the novel Moonraker it’s established that the section routinely has three agents concurrently; the film series, beginning with Thunderball, establishes the number of OO agents at a minimum of 9. Fleming himself only mentions five OO agents in all. According to Moonraker, James Bond is the most senior of three OO agents; the two others were OO8 and OO11. The three men share an office and a secretary named Loelia Ponsonby. Later novels feature two more OO agents; OO9 is mentioned in Thunderball and OO6 is mentioned in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Other authors have elaborated and expanded upon the OO agents. While they presumably have been sent on dangerous missions as Bond has, little has been revealed about most of them. Several have been named, both by Fleming and other authors, along with passing references to their service records, which suggest that agents are largely recruited (as Bond was) from the British military's special forces.

Interestingly, In the novel You Only Live Twice, Bond was transferred into another branch and given the number 7777, suggesting there was no active agent 007 in that time; he is later reinstated as 007 in the novel The Man with the Golden Gun. As an aside, in Fleming's Moonraker, OO agents face mandatory retirement at 45 years old. However Sebastian Faulks's Devil May Care (an authorised Bond adventure from the Fleming estate and therefore arguably could be considered canon) features M giving Bond a choice of when to retire - which explains why Roger Moore (God bless) went past his sell by date.

In the films the OO section is a discrete area of MI6, whose agents report directly to M, and tend to be sent on special assignments and troubleshooting missions, often involving rogue agents (from Britain or other countries) or situations where an "ordinary" intelligence operation uncovers or reveals terrorist or criminal activity too sensitive to be dealt with using ordinary procedural or legal measures, and where the aforementioned discretionary "licence to kill" is deemed necessary or useful in rectifying the situation.

The World is Not Enough introduces a special insignia for the 00 Section. Bond's fellow OO agents appear receiving briefings in Thunderball and The World Is Not Enough. The latter film shows a woman in one of the 00 chairs. In Thunderball, there are nine chairs for the OO agents; Moneypenny says every 00 agent in Europe has been recalled, not every OO agent in the world. Behind the scenes photos of the film reveal that one of the agents in the chairs is female as well. As with the books, other writers have elaborated and expanded upon the OO agents in the films and in other media.

In GoldenEye, 006 is an alias for Alec Trevelyan; as of 2019, Trevelyan is the only OO agent other than Bond to play a major role in an EON Productions film, with all other appearances either being brief or dialogue references only.

In Casino Royale with Daniel Craig’s first outing as Bond, we see in the introduction the tense exchange between Bond and Dryden, a section chief whom Bond has been sent to kill for selling secrets.  

James Bond: M really doesn't mind you earning a little money on the side, Dryden. She'd just prefer it if it wasn't selling secrets. Dryden: If the theatrics are supposed to scare me, you have the wrong man Bond. If M was so sure I was bent...she'd have sent a Double-O. Benefits of being Section Chief...I would know of anyone being promoted to Double-O status, wouldn't I? Your file shows no kills...and it takes - James Bond: - two. (flashback of Bond fighting Dryden's contact in a bathroom.)

The OO is just a coveted position and nothing to do with who occupies it. Ito use a topical comparative example it’s like a football team in which a new star player would be given an ex-player’s shirt number e.g. Messi wears Number 10 for Argentina which is heavily identified with the late great Maradona. So conceivably there would be no problem having a woman or anyone else play 007. I think it would be an interesting creative choice to have a woman or someone else play OO7 and Bond is out of the service and yet he has to work together with this new OO7 - the creative tension would be a refreshing twist on the canon. 

Your question about James Bond’s Oxford or Cambridge education is more easier to answer.

It really depends again which Bond one is talking about. The literary James Bond or the cinematic Bond.

In the Fleming books, James Bond’s didn’t go to Oxford or Cambridge or any of the other great universities of Britain. In the books Bond’s education is not gone into much detail. We know he was raised overseas until he was orphaned at the age of 11 when his parents died in a mountaineering accident near Chamonix in the Alps. He is home schooled for a time by an aunt, Charmain Bond, in the English village of Pett Bottom before being packed off to boarding school at Eton around 12 years old. Bond doesn’t stay long as he gets expelled for playing around with a maid. He is then sent to his father’s boarding school in Scotland, Fettes College.

Bond is then briefly attends the University of Geneva - as Ian Fleming did - before being taught to ski in Kitzbühel. In 1941 Bond joins a branch of what was to become the Ministry of Defence and becomes a lieutenant in the Royal Naval Volunteer Reserve, ending the war as a commander. Bond applies to M for a position within the "Secret Service", part of the HM Civil Service, and rises to the rank of principal officer. And that’s it.

In the cinematic Bond universe things get more complicated and even contentious as you alluded to in your question. It’s never made quite clear which of the two - Oxford or Cambridge - Bond attended because it depends on how much weight you attach to the lines being spoken in each of the films where it is raised.

In Tomorrow Never Dies, Bond is up at Oxford (New College to be exact since his Aston Martin DB5 was parked in the courtyard at the entrance). He is seen bedding a sexy Danish professor, Inga Bergstrom, to brush up on his Danish (to which Moneypenny on the phone retorts ‘You always were a cunning linguist’). But it’s definitely doesn’t mean Bond studied there as an undergraduate. 

Casino Royale is the film many think yes, James Bond went to Oxford because it is mentioned by Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) as she sizes up Daniel Craig’s Bond on the train. Here is the full quote as said by Vesper Lynd, “All right... by the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever. Naturally you think human beings dress like that. But you wear it with such disdain, my guess is you didn't come from money, and your school friends never let you forget it. Which means you were at that school by the grace of someone else's charity - hence that chip on your shoulder. And since your first thought about me ran to "orphan," that's what I'd say you are.”

The thing to note is that it’s Vesper Lynd taunting Bond and even then she takes a wide stab by saying ‘Oxford or wherever’ because she doesn’t really know and Bond doesn’t oblige her with an answer.

That whole scene struck me as strange because she’s guessing by the cut of the suit it must be Oxford (or Cambridge). Bond is wearing an Italian suit (Brioni to be specific) and not and English Savile Row one that presumably someone of Bond’s taste and background would be sporting.

A more plausible answer if we are going by the cinematic Bond universe is Cambridge. Indeed it is stated explicitly by Bond himself. Can you guess?

You Only Live Twice which is has the distinction of being the only Bond film (as far as I can tell) from being set in just one country - Japan.

You remember the scene. Lieutenant commander James Bond has just had a briefing with M on board a submarine and is naturally flirting with Moneypenny on his way out. Moneypenny playfully tosses him a Japanese phrase book, saying he might need it.

“You forget,” Bond responds with an expression just short of a smirk as he tosses it back to her, “I took a first in oriental languages at Cambridge.”

So it seems James Bond is a Cambridge man.

A first means - as any British university student would know - first class honours. It’s the highest classification grade one can get in their undergraduate degree ie a ‘first’. Although at Cambridge, like Oxford, you can also get a double first in the part I and part II of the Tripos. Both universities also award first-class honours with distinction, informally known as a ‘Starred First’ (Cambridge) or a ‘Congratulatory First’ (Oxford).

Another oddity is he says ‘oriental languages’ when one got a degree in ‘oriental studies’ at the Oriental Faculty at Cambridge. That is until 2007 when Cambridge bowed to public and student pressure and chose to drop its Oriental Faculty label and instead adopted the name the Faculty of Asian and Middle Eastern Studies. Oxford still hangs on to its name the Faculty of Oriental Studies.

My only reservation about crowing over an Oxonian is how truthful was Bond being with Moneypenny in this scene?

Is this line meant to be taken seriously or ironically? Most people seem to take it seriously, despite much of Connery's dialogue being obviously ironic and playful. Certainly, Bond is shown to have never been to Japan before and is incapable of saying anything in Japanese other than the odd "sayonara" and "arigato." But then again Bond does know the correct temperature sake is meant to be served at. So there’s that.

Or it could be Bond was speaking a half-truth. I know speaking from experience as someone who very nearly read asian languages instead of my eventual choice of Classics that ‘Oriental languages’ at the ex-Oriental faculty in Cambridge can mean many other languages e.g. Sanskrit, Hindi, Farsi, Hebrew, Arabic as well as Korean, Japanese and Chinese. It opens up so many other delicious possibilities for Bond. If he read Arabic then perhaps he’s being deeply ironic with Moneypenny (after all she would have drooled over read his MI6 personnel file).

If you think I’m losing my mind then ponder on the fact it was Roald Dahl who penned the screenplay of You Only Live Twice. Dahl was not above snark. Indeed pretty sure he would have got a starred first in snark at any university.

Of course the most obvious explanation is that it’s plot armour as a way for Bond to just get on with the story by suspending the audience belief. Why wouldn’t Bond know Japanese? He seems to know everything else imaginable.

However if it ever was it’s now become canon as EON - the production company behind the Bond films - have stated officially for the fandom that Bond’s official bio has it that he went to Eton and Cambridge, where he got a first in oriental languages. So that seems settled then.

In hindsight it makes perfect sense that Bond went to Cambridge since historically Cambridge has provided the bulk of the spies not just for Her Majesty’s service but also for the other side, the Russians - the so-called Cambridge Spies of Philby, Maclean, Burgess, Blunt, and Cairncross, and a host of other traitors. We seem to be an equal opportunities employment service.

I’m sorry to disappoint you and other Oxonians that despite what you might think James Bond didn’t attend Oxford. Believe me as a Cantabrigian it gives me no pleasure to say this…..too much.

Thanks for your question.

[askaceattorney]

Dear Anonymous,

I still have yet to play (or watch) DGS2, unfortunately, so we’ll have to save that part for another time, but I’d love to delve into the shared adventures of this adorable duo in the first game.

When Ryuunosuke first meets Susato, she’s nothing more to him than an ally in his defense in court.

He doesn’t see her again until he and Kazuma find themselves at the end of their rope.

It makes you wonder if she’s the one who founded whatever School of Interrupting at Just the Right Time so many Ace Attorney characters apparently went to, doesn’t it?

When she appears, “calm and dignified, in our desperate final moments,” to use Ryuunosuke’s words, she causes quite the stir.  Luckily, the five minutes granted to her by the judge to present some crucial evidence is all she needs to help him and Kazuma pull off the first turnabout in Ace Attorney’s history.

The mysterious legal assistant’s wish for Ryuunosuke’s good fortune was granted, apparently.

Thus Ryuunosu--  Um...  Is it okay if I call him “Ryu” for short?  Thus Ryu’s life was saved by a humble young woman who had the courage and decency to collect, summarize, and present the evidence that turned the case around in the nick of time.  After leaving to finish his acquittal procedures with a humble bow, she disappeared, never to be seen by him again.

Or so he thought.

Similar to Phoenix and Maya’s first encounter, Ryu and Susato's second meeting occurs under the most tragic of circumstances.  His close friend and classmate has been found dead in his cabin on the ship he managed to smuggle himself onto.  Unlike Phoenix and Maya’s situation, however, it’s the lawyer (or soon-to-be lawyer) who is initially blamed for his death.  To make matters worse, the young woman who helped to save his life isn’t feeling quite so compassionate this time around.

Her anger and distrust are understandable, considering that the evidence seems to point to Ryu as the culprit, on top of the fact that Kazuma was her foster brother.  Luckily, she’s polite and reasonable enough to hear Ryu’s side of things, and even claims that she wants to believe him, so the two of them are at least able to treat each other civilly.

That is...until he tries to start investigating.

There’s a bucket load of energy beneath that demure countenance of hers, it turns out.  Her move even has a special name -- the “Susato Toss.”  Who would’ve thought she came straight out of Street Fighter?

Thankfully, she still has a reasonable side.

By presenting evidence of his innocence, Ryu not only vindicates himself, but finally starts to gain Susato’s trust.

Sadly, her trust only lasts until a certain world-famous detective shows up to accuse Ryu of being a Russian revolutionary.

It’s hard to blame her, of course.  Who wouldn’t trust THE Sherlock Holmes’s logic?

Nonetheless, her determination to find out more about Kazuma’s death is strong enough for her to begrudgingly continue the investigation with Ryu.  One notable moment occurs here when he attempts to gain favor wither her by appealing to her love of mystery novels.

She’s no fool, of course, and only dislikes him even more for expecting her to fall for it.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this was the “main characters don’t get along until they’re forced into a situation together” cliché.  This situation may not fit that cliché perfectly, but it’s not too far off if you ask me.

When Ryu is finally allowed to investigate outside the cabin, Susato begins to show a bit more sympathy for him.

I have to give her some credit for that -- it takes a special kind of person to show compassion for a possible murderer.  It also seems like she’s beginning to see Ryu as more of a human being than a heartless criminal.  Baby steps, as they say.

From that point on, their dialogue begins taking on a more friendly tone.  Thus Susato, whether on purpose or by fate, takes on the role of the first official assistant in Ace Attorney’s history.  And boy, does she pull it off like a pro.

To make a long story short, their cooperative efforts combined with the ridiculous logic of a kooky detective (as well as the assistance of the less kooky Detective Hosonaga) bring them to the truth of Asougi’s death in the end.  While this clears Ryu of the crime and offers some much-needed closure for both him and Susato, his death still affects them deeply.

Something wonderful stems from this tragedy, though -- a crucial moment, not only for the two of them, but also for the Japanese and British Empires.

With Asougi’s passing, the exchange program between Great Britain and Japan is forced into suspension, unless, somehow, a replacement attorney can be found before the ship reaches London.

It’s a shame it has to end this way after all they’ve been through together, but that’s just the way it goes someti--

...Oh.  Well, then.  Who would’ve seen that coming?  (Besides us, I mean.)

And strangely enough, the young woman who once saw Ryu as a cold-blooded murderer has this to say about him becoming an attorney:

Thus a new attorney/assistant pair arises from the ashes of one attorney’s passing (pun fully intended), and the two of them step into a new journey in their lives together.  And thankfully, it wasn’t exactly the cliché it appeared to be -- the two of them are now trusted friends, and Susato even offers to let Ryu toss her three times as punishment for not believing him.  (It doesn’t quite end that way, but that’s beside the point.)

The first leg of said journey takes place in the “centre of the world” the incredible city of London.  What a place to begin, am I right?

Thus their incredible legal adventure begins (or adventures begin, I should say) in beautiful Victorian Era Britain.  To describe their encounters here briefly (and so I don’t spend a whole year on this essay), they learn together how the British court system works...

...about its imperfections...

...how it feels to pull off a turnabout in a British courtroom...

...and perhaps most importantly, about the value of trust.

To say nothing of their misadventures with Mr. Holmes, his young genius assistant, and several other unforgettable British folk.

And a fellow Japanese immigrant, too, of course.  Who could forget him?

You know, I’m starting to wonder if he might be one of Larry’s ancestors.

The game throws one final curveball for the great legal duo before it ends.  After telling Susato she’s the world’s best legal assistant, Ryu gets a very unexpected response from her:

When he attempts to confront her about it, all he gets is another Susato Toss.

What could someone like her, who’s already proven her worth as a legal assistant several times, be hiding?  Unfortunately for Ryu, he’s unlikely to find out soon, since her father’s illness has called her back home, leaving him to pull off his next turnabout on his own.  She doesn’t go without leaving behind as much helpful evidence as she can muster, of course.

But, as fate would have it, a storm prevents her ship from departing for at least half a day, giving Ryu and his new flatmates a chance to see her off.  On top of that, it gives Ryu the chance to find out precisely what inspired Susato’s words of doubt.

He catches her preparing to throw a copy of the British Empire’s Code of Law into the sea.  What would cause her to do such a thing?

It turns out she broke one of the rules by tampering with the scene of the crime, and another by concealing that fact.  Her intentions may have been good, but her conscience became a little too heavy for her to let it go.  She takes it a step further by claiming that, for one moment, she began to doubt the law.

She may not be wrong in stating this (she learned it firsthand in the British courts, after all), but it still caused her to see herself as a failure of a legal assistant.  Luckily for her, though, Ryu had learned some things himself in the time they spent together.

While her methods were questionable at best, Ryu recognizes something in Susato that sets her and every just person apart from a criminal: a desire to protect the innocent.  Whereas Chrogray used her tampering as a way to protect himself, her only desire was to protect Gina’s life and to ensure that Ryu would be able to prove her innocence in the end.  In other words, her faith in the system may have been lacking, but her desire for justice, like Ryu’s, never faltered for even a moment.  With that knowledge in mind, the two of them can part with a better knowledge of the law, a better understanding of each other, and smiles on their faces.

So, to sum it up, Ryu and Susato go from being friendly acquaintances, to a murder suspect and suspecter (for lack of a better word), to investigative partners, to full-fledged legal partners, and finally, to a legendary legal duo.  Will their relationship ever go any further than that?

Also, full disclosure -- it’s been a long time since I watched Dai Gyakuten Saiban, so I had to do a hefty amount of re-watching in order to remember some of these details...hence why this essay took so long.  Thanks for waiting!

And hey, how’s that for good timing?

Don’t know about you, but I’m eagerly looking forward to revisiting this unforgettable saga.  And, y’know...doing it the proper way instead of depending on fan translations.

-The Co-Mod

[skyllion-uwu]

Oc? Infodump

I had this like all typed out on my phone and then accidentally closed Tumblr so now I'm doing it from my computer which is why I'm answering this later instead of when I woke up a few hours ago but YAY :DDDDDDDDDDD

So I've got 10 OCs! 11 if you count my sona, but they don't really have a story they belong to. Sky observes the other characters and record what happens which are what turn into my stories. The first 7 of these are from the same story and the other three are for a spin-off that exists in the same world. I'll also be reblogging this to my OC blog @skyllion-art-and-ocs because the links for my projects are broken and this will have to do until I get my Toyhouse page up. Not gonna say everything because I do plan on writing stories about them. All of them are trans and some flavor of queer

Jaxon (xe/xim): A minor eldritch being (I usually call xim a demon but I feel like this is a more accurate term) with amnesia! Xe woke up in a burning city and feels like xe caused it since xe's the only one left. After wandering around a bit, xe came across the only other survivor: a child named Bailey. Xe informally adopted her and they went off to Portland OR. There, Jaxon meets Robin and Holmes and falls in love with both of them. Xe has the ability to make copies of objects as long as they're a certain distance nearby. Oh, and possibly time manipulation powers? At least xe thinks that because they're all stuck in a time loop that resets whenever the world ends. Only xe and one other character remember the prior loops.

Bailey (she/her): A 7 year old girl. I don't know much about her backstory yet except that her parents started neglecting her later in life, choosing work over her. She started realizing this a couple months after getting sent to summer camp. When she returns, she finds everything in ruins and meets Jaxon. Like I said, they move out west. She has dyslexia and loves baking. She always tries to act happy around others. At least until she gets older but I'm getting ahead of myself

Robin (she/they): They're a teaching assistant! She specializes in special ed, which is how they met Bailey and in turn Jaxon. They're a bit of a nerd like their entire house is decorated in anime and video game merch and a hopeless romantic. This doesn't serve them well in some timelines.

Holmes (he/him): Originally supposed to be a one-off that I ended up loving too much. He's a serious, quiet, and a bit uptight man. He works at a coffee shop alongside Jaxon. He loves mystery novels and shows, but adventures themselves are super stressful. The most level-headed and calm of him and his partners. He's also a merman but keeps this a secret.

Charles (no pronouns; either called Charles and sometimes Chuck): Apparently Charles is hot according to my friends despite being an absolute scumbag. This is the other character who knows about the time loops. Charles is another minor eldritch being and constantly trying to murder everyone. However, Charles doesn't have a body which makes this difficult. No one can see Charles either except for Jaxon and anyone's mind that Charles has managed to infiltrate. Charles does have a human form and goes by Chuck in it, but the human form doesn't make an appearance until the very end of Part 1 and as a cameo in my other story. Charles is extremely nihilistic, seeing others as mere ants and that nothing bad could happen if killed.

Adrienne (fae/faer): Surprise surprise another minor eldritch being. Fae doesn't appear until the second part when Bailey is 17, but fae's her bff then. Eldritch beings can shapeshift to some extent, but Adrienne's main power is shapeshifting and can do more than others. It's better to call it imitation because fae can mimic others' appearances and voices to such a high degree that fae could pass as them as long as fae didn't slip up in mannerisms.

Etienne (he/ve): This guy actually is a demon and also Adrienne's half-brother! Oh, and the son of Charles! Yaayyy /s Anywho, he used to be a king before getting exiled and then wandered around different worlds until ve ran into Bailey and Adrienne. Ve and Adrienne don't have a good relationship. He can also do thoughtography (imprinting images onto film that show lost things or thoughts).

Shiko (he/him): A typical isekai protagonist. Bland, arrogant, overpowered, an asshole towards women- don't worry, he's dead. But because he was such a cool dude (/s), he gets to continue helping the isekai world by finding people to "send" there! Along the way, he learns the power of queer platonic relationships and how his internalized bigotry has affected him because plot twist this bitch is x-gender and aro/ace

Neil (he/him): A man who ended up possessing a truck. So he's technically a sentient truck now. Anywho, he's the guy helping Shiko with "sending" people to the isekai world by running into them! He's doing this to get back into his original body and constantly wonders if his family remembers him. He and Shiko are enemies to queer platonic partners.

Kami (any pronouns): A mysterious person who keeps thwarting Shiko and Neil's plans. Who are they? Oh, he can also turn into a crane. And is trying to bring down the king of the isekai world. I just realized I tend to make my trios with like 2 wacky characters and one serious calm straight-man and uh ze's definitely the straight-man here despite not being a man or straight.

I wanna make more OCs for that second story since it's supposed to be an isekai parody and they need a giant party. So far I have the ideas I have are a clown idol, a cross-dressing catgirl, and a strong warrior gf for Kami (the only one with a name right now: Alina)

[intpstyle]

Detective Conan Meta: Trauma, being seen & the Inner Child

Okay, so it’s 6AM and I woke up with this essay half-formed in my mind and I need to talk about DC. Yesterday, I saw a quote on tumblr that read

“to be loved is to be seen”

and it literally haunted my dreams. I dreamt of Shinichi being unable to tell Ran who he is for so long now (we won’t go into the half a year debate (in this post)) and it got me thinking about the unbearable loneliness of it all. Then I thought of Heiji and of how liberating it must be for Shinichi that some people do know him for who he really is - that some people see him, that some people are able to love him, all of him, because they’ve recognised him even when he looks like a child. And that got a chain reaction of symbolism going in my brain because THINK ABOUT IT, Shinichi is literally forced to live as his own inner child.

So, we open with this lovably weird 17-year-old (fuck no, in the manga he’s actually only 16) with barely any survival skills who’s been left alone in a huge mansion because his parents went adios, who doesn’t have a whole lot of close friends because he always found it difficult to connect with others because he’s so focussed on his detective work and who, when he finally manages to ask the love of his life out on a date and inevitably stumbles over another murder, claims that “you get used to it”, that corpses don’t affect him, that nothing really affects him and, worst of all, he actually means it. This is our protagonist. He’s All Grown Up. He always tried to be All Grown Up. Frankly, with parents like these, he always had to be All Grown Up. And it’s okay! Because he found something he loves doing (finding the truth, restoring justice, helping people) and he’s good at it and people actually love him for it (look at all these fan letters, Ran, look at them!)

And then Ran (bless you, angel child) starts crying because - because so many reasons. One, she’s still affected by what happened. Two, she sees the love of her life being strong - and he always has and had to be strong; it must be so bloody exhausting and he’s not even aware of how tired he is, but to ask him to take a break, to take a look at what all this death and suffering and loneliness really means, to take it in, to stop, would be to take the one thing away (apart from her, but she doesn’t know that) that keeps him stable and grounded and to risk having him fall apart. I don’t think she knows this consciously, but Ran is empathetic and has been around Shinichi all her life - this, I think, is the moment it really hits her that this brutality (a literal decapitated corpse that spews blood like a fountain on a roller coaster!!!) has become her best friend’s “normal”. She is scared. She is worried. And she shows it.

And then Shinichi (bless you, cool child) tries to play it down, to make her feel better, to show her that this is nothing to despair over. He, too, is trying to be considerate of this incredible girl who always takes on other people’s burdens and their pain and grins and bears it. But it isn’t all compassion - he frankly also does not have the tools to deal with someone being so vulnerable and innocent and, dare I say?, child-like. And what does he do? Does he stay and engage with her side of things? Does he hear her out and consider that he HAS become callous and somewhat addicted to shedding light on the dark sides of other people? That he feels uncomfortable feeling the light turned back on himself? No! No, of course not! He’s 16 and has the emotional range of a tea spoon (#relatable). Instead, he latches onto the next sign of mystery and turns back to his quest for truth where he feels safe and needed. He LITERALLY tells Ran to “go ahead” and that he’ll “catch up” and boy, will he ever (emotionally).

We all know what happens next: he bites off more than he can chew. He stumbles over a case that even he admits is “serious” and is LITERALLY hit over the head with the realisation that this - socio-economic corruption, systemic criminal organisations, being vulnerable and opening up to a loved one - is the world of adults and he is NOT ready for it. So he, like everybody else, is given the choice to call it quits or to choose life, start over and re-learn the things he missed out in childhood to become an adult. He becomes his inner child again (the first chapter literally ends with the dialogue

“You okay!? Can you stand up, little boy?”

“Huh?”

and he’s trying. He’s trying to stand up, okay?) and it smarts. In this old/new form, he is taken care of, but not taken taken seriously by the policemen (”You must’ve been scared”) and it freaks him out that they treat him (the master detective!) like a child again. At this height, he fails to get into his own house (some more symbolism right there) and he is not recognised by Professor Agasa until he shows him some impressive deduction work, demonstrating that this really is at the core of his character - he enjoys and is good at mysteries. That was never the problem. Neglecting just about everything else was (- the same goes for OG Holmes, I’d argue). Seeing how the situation he went through literally (damn that’s a lot of literally) turned Shinichi back into a child, Professor Agasa warns him not to inflict the same traumatic damage on others - especially since the situation is not yet resolved. (...but Agasa’s involvement is another can of worms)

There’s a whole other post in Shinichi’s choice to call himself “Conan Edogawa” and wearing his father’s glasses as well (aka trying to redefine his identity by viewing the world through the lense of the people he admired (notably his father’s frames without the lenses though!)), but the most interesting thing happens when Ran shows up. He tries, desperately, not to be recognised - not to be seen - by her in this form because it’s not HIM (it is though) and because it would involve Ran in danger; would put her in the adult world he couldn’t deal with and couldn’t protect her from, thus, ironically, infantilising her and (although in an attempt to be heroic, nonetheless still) limiting her agency.

And this is where the irony really kicks in - because Ran finds it much easier to talk to this raw, vulnerable version of himself that he doesn’t allow her to see as a “grown-up” 16-year-old. It is now, as a child that asks straight-forward questions, that he learns that Ran really does love him and that she knows the good (dependable, brave & cool), as well as the bad (full of himself, bit of a jerk and obsessed with mysteries) sides of him better than he does. At the very moment, he, touched by her vulnerability and wanting to open up, decides to tell her the truth, he is again reminded of the Men in Black by Kogoro falling down the stairs like a sack of potatoes and he (dependable, brave & cool) decides not to involve anyone in the mess he brought upon himself until he can stand up to the world of adulthood that he shrank from.

The beauty of the series is that Shinichi slowly realises, bit by bit, drop by drop, excruciating chapter after excruciating chapter, that the way for him (an INTP) to become an adult is precisely by letting others see him as he is and thus forming lasting, real and dependable relationships (by developing his Fe). This tragically begins with Akemi Miyano (a first step and another reminder that he is not capable enough yet), is slowly built up with the Detective Boys (who are honestly so important for him), continues with Ai (#bestpartners, for both of whom Professor Agasa, the eternal child-inventor, is a safe haven where they can catch up on what they missed out on, Ai obviously much more so than Conan), reaches a really, really sweet high with Heiji (#bestbromance), a rather dissatisfying conclusion with his parents (who, and I cannot stress this enough, decide the best way to convince their traumatised son that his life is in danger is to point a literal gun (okay, it’s a pistol) at his face in disguise) and climaxes with Eisuke Hondo (at which point he is confident enough to proclaim who he is even while still in the form of a child (although that doesn’t make the context of the situation any less stupid (thus proving that he IS still a love-struck teenager at the end of the day))). tl;dr By being both the professional adult “Sleeping Kogoro”, as well as the cooky child “Conan Edogawa” at once, Shinichi can play with both facets of his teenage life until he reaches a level of stability that allows him to integrate the child mind into his adult mind - and that will be the point at which he’ll be able to fully become (not just temporarily play the role of) Shinichi Kudo.

PS: It is also interesting to compare Ai’s and Shinichi’s approaches to being stuck in their childhood selves. Shinichi, not as scarred and slowly building up a network of people he trusts, is eager to move on and begs Ai to give him the temporary antidote as often as he can - he WANTS to grow up and be a grown-up so badly. There is so much (Ran) waiting for him there.

Ai, on the other hand, is much more cautious and warns him not to jump the gun. To her, much more scarred and still rather alone, this is an invaluable second shot at life and she is as careful with it as she humanly can, constantly worrying and on the look-out that someone could drag her back to the prison of responsibilities and obligations. That’s why it was SUCH a pivotal moment for her when she used and realised the use of her adult form when she saved the Detective Boys from the fire. She, too, is slowly connecting the two halves of herself but I suspect that it’ll take her an entire childhood to do so. (Also, interestingly, as an INTJ, she puts down her roots in a very different way from Conan. She cherishes her new relationships and protects them fiercely, but the real signs of her settling down ever-so-slowly is her growing willingness to reconstruct her internal moral system (Fi) and to acquire and find security in material possessions (Se), like her designer handbags and her little football-man-phone-strap.)

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

I have a question for you! As it is the lovely Mammoney's birthday coming up, what would your MC give the boys for their birthday?

This actually became a lot longer than I expected because I couldn't help writing minifics whoops and ahh asks about my MC make me happy cause I rarely get to talk about them specifically

Note; despite the typical idea you'd get from their name Eliza is neither white or western or a girl. All the relationships except the one with Mammon are just platonic✌ lemme know what you think cause feedback (either good or bad) is my only fuel

Lucifer

Lucifer gets a #1 MOM mug but also the day after his bday he gets Eliza asking Diavolo if he could let Lucifer off work for the day and dragging the rest of the brothers out of the house while making Lucifer promise he'll take a nap.

"Are you ordering me?"

"Well I mean...yeah? Not - not in a," they wiggled their fingers in front of them "pacty way. Just in a concerned friend way."

"And if I don't?"

"Well Diavolo went through all the trouble of taking on your work load... He'd be terribly disappointed if nothing came of it."

Lucifer had to stamp down the twitch of fond amusement that threatened to show on his face, "Are you trying to manipulate me?"

"No, I am manipulating you. Because it's working."

He gave them a dubious look.

"It is working. Right?"

With a sigh he said, "It's working."

"Great!" They pressed forward to give him a tight brief hug whispering "Happy Birthday Lucifer" before they were moving away, running off to presumably gather his brothers. "Remember," Eliza yelled over their shoulder, "Sleep!"

Mammon

The day of Mammon's birthday he gets a scavenger hunt. He grumbles at first but the lure of the prize at each location has him solving the riddles in seconds. Eliza trots after him to each location. The gifts, though there are a lot of them aren't anything big or overly expensive, a keychain with a little crow at the end of it, a bright gold cover for his D.D.D., A tote bag just so he could put the rest of his gift in it, that one choker/collar he had been eyeing a few days ago, a few of the old Disney princess movies because he got really into Cinderella, a warm scarf and set of mittens for the colder months because they know he prefers the warmth, a new pair of sunglasses, a new pair of earrings/studs, nail polish. But it's the little notes attached to them that's killing him.

"It's cute like you!" "Ik your eyes aren't gold but I always think of shining gold when I think of them. Maybe because they are so precious?" "I love you" "I saw you staring at it. You probably thought you'd look hot in it. You're right." "Did you know meeting you made me believe in happily ever afters?" "This one's pretty selfish because seeing you happy and comfortable makes me happy" "This one's a joint gift. I'll need to borrow them because you light up the room" "You deserve the best things because you're the best" "Have I told you I love you" "Stop solving these riddles so fast! I spent a lot of time trying to find the hard ones and now you're making me look dumb! Plus my legs are hurting."

The words of the last note blurred a bit as he tried to discreetly sniff. He'd been holding back tears since the second note, not that he'd ever let the human know (they knew). He wasn't sure why this was the one that broke him.

"Mammon?"

He turns to Eliza slowly. Making sure he doesn't crush the note.

They're panting slightly, from having to run up and down the whole house after him, but they smile brightly when he meets their eyes. "Seriously man, slow down for us weaker beings yeah?"

Then Mammon does something he rarely does. He makes the first move. He shoots forward to envelope them in a hug. They yelp at the sudden movement but immediately fold their arms around him.

They're almost the same height, something Eliza loves to hold over him, so it's easy for them to shift back and press a kiss to the tip of his nose. "I love you."

That just makes him sniff harder and burrow further into their shoulder, "Said that twice already," he mumbles between hiccuping little sobs.

"Dunno what to tell you, Mammon but I love you a whole lot. Just once won't work"

"... l - love ya too dummy..."

"There's one more riddle."

The last one simply says "Happy Birthday, Mammon."

"What's the gift?" He asks, looking around his room where the last riddle had led them.

The click of the lock and the wicked look on their face says it all.

*If you think the notes were cheesy Eliza absolutely cringed while writing them and had to take breaks to go scream in their pillow because of how sappy they were, but Mammon liked this kind of cheesy and it doesn't mean they weren't 100% sincere.*

Levi

For Levi they hunt down Simeon, trailing after him begging, negotiating and making deals.

"I-is this - this isn't - h-how - there isn't any - ELIZAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" He launches himself at them, still holding the little book. "I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ELIZA! I - " He pauses, seeming to finally register his words and jumping away, hand flying to cover his flaming face "I! That doesn't mean! I didn't mean it like -"

"Love you too," they say easily.

And that has Levi blushing even more and trying to hide his face while mumbling something about 'normies'.

"Do you like it?"

"LIKE IT!? How'd you get it! This! This isn't even supposed to exist!"

"Ah I spoke to Simeon, he wrote it just for your birthday. They're only a collection of short stories though."

"FOR MY BIRTHDAY!? A LIMITED EDITION!? NO! NOT EVEN A LIMITED EDITION, AN IMPOSSIBLE ONE THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST!"

"...happy birthday Levi?"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"Love you too."

Satan

For Satan Eliza follows both Diavolo and Lucifer around, once again begging, pleading and bargaining. Diavolo agrees pretty quickly, it's Lucifer they take a week to convince

"Where are we going exactly?"

"You'll see."

"And how exactly did you manage to convince them to let us into the human world?"

"Uhm.."

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

He chuckles softly, gently bumping them with his elbow he asks, "At least tell me where we are."

"Well this is where my mother was from. She was the one who was Lilith's descendant."

"It's not the same as where you lived?"

Eliza flushes at his use of the past tense. "Nope. It's funny though... "

"What is?"

"The first people who lived, the natives, the name of their clan translated to 'Demon'. They even had a Demon King. Ah, not sure how much of that is actual history and how much has been twisted through time but. It's an odd little coincidence don't you think?"

"Amid the action and reaction of so dense a swarm of humanity, every possible combination of events may be expected to take place, and many a little problem will be presented which may be striking and bizarre..."

"Don't quote your detective at me."

Satan laughs. "What happened to them? In your history?"

"Well it's a bit of a long story, it's not exactly a fair one either."

"History so rarely is. It's always told through the mouths of the survivors, the winners, it rarely gets a chance to be fair, to be anything more than fiction peppered with fact." His eyes are fixed firmly on the sky.

Eliza looks up with him, staring at the cloudless blue sky.

He shakes himself out of it with a chuckle, "That doesn't mean I'm not interested in hearing it. Quite the opposite actually." He smiles sweetly at them.

Eliza grins back. "I actually managed to get us a few days here. There are lots of ruins all around the country, they're not from that original clan but they're still really old and kind of amazing. We won't be able to visit all of them but it's still something."

"It is. Thank you, Eliza. It means a lot that I'd be able to learn something new and that you're sharing this with me."

Still grinning they hug him gently.

He wraps his arms around them

"Is this the part where you wish me?"

"It is. Happy Birthday, Satan."

*Anyway this is part of our actual history and even though I haven't really decided where Eliza is from this felt fitting? The detective quote is taken straight from Sherlock Holmes*

Asmo

"Elizaaa~ This is so sweet! Ahh, I love it! I love you!!"

Eliza couldn't help the soft laugh as Asmo clung on to them, rubbing their cheeks together and enveloping them in the sweet scent of his perfume.

"How did you know I needed this?"

"Well, living with six brothers anyone would need a weekend spa retreat away from them."

"You're right, Eliza! You're so right! They're the worst and it's even started to affect my skin! I needed some me time."

"Well... It's actually a coupon for two..."

Asmo blinked at them looking down at it and yes it was a coupon for two.

"You know, just in case you wanna..." they did a ridiculous eyebrow wiggle that had him giggling.

"Well then, Dear. How about a weekend spa treatment with me? Hmm?"

Eliza blushed, stumbling back and stuttering, "That's not - I - you know - I'm just - I - "

He watches them stutter, with an amused smile before he mercifully cuts in "I know you're set on that idiot brother of mine. Lord knows why, he's such a mess and I'm much prettier. You know I love you Eliza but you really do have terrible taste."

At their scowl he giggles, "But you love him, and you look out for him and you make him happy and he does all that for you too. And, well that's all that matters, isn't it?"

They're a bit red again, but they're smiling at him softly and looking at him with such love in their eyes, it makes a gentle sort of warmth spread through him.

"No, what I meant was not everyone in my family has been driving me crazy recently and you look like you could use a weekend off too. I can tell you embarrassing stories about Mammon from back in the Celestial Realm, if that sweetens the deal? Unless," now that he thought about it, "that makes you uncomfortable!? Ah! Eliza, I'm so sorry I didn't even think! I know you don't like this kind of thing, that's okay I'll ask So-"

"No, wait Asmo it's fine. I don't mind it, if it's with you."

Asmo blinked. The warmth spread. Then he flung himself at them again, "Elizaaaaa, don't say things like that and expect me not to react!"

They laughed, easily catching him in their arms, "Happy Birthday, Asmo."

Beel & Belphie

With Beel & Belphie Eliza leads them into the attic and locks the door behind them.

"Are you going to kill us here?"

"Haha. Funny."

Belphie laughed lightly, and Eliza could almost hear Beel's frown as commonplace as it was when the topic was brought up. Not wanting to keep Beel in any type of discomfort they reached out with that flicker of magic in them and a muttered spell and lit the fairy light like little lamps that hung across the room.

"You're getting better at that." Belphie said, eyes on them and looking impressed.

Beel hummed and agreed, looking proud.

"I know." Their chest puffed out a bit and the twins laughed.

Letting the moment fade they swept their hands, gesturing at the rest of the room. "So what do you think?"

The furniture had all been moved to the sides, the blankets and pillows from the room along with many, many additional ones were all piled strategically on the floor, making a large nest like structure. The outer structure of the nest was lined with various boxes and packets of different kinds of snacks and drinks. On the wooden floor in front of the nest was a large cake decorated in warm oranges and cool purples.

"I made it!" They said, proudly before deflating a second later "Well Luke made it, he wanted to do something nice for Beel's birthday but I stood around and licked the raw batter so that counts?... There's also a handheld vacuum for crumbs." They gestured at the side.

"It looks good," Beel said with a nod. "Smells good. I'm hungry."

Belphie tilted his head, "So your present for us is our sins?"

Eliza bristled, "No. That's just the setting, next is the accessories."

"Accessories?" Beel asked softly, still eyeing the cake, only held back by the firm grip that both Eliza and Belphie had on his hands.

"Accessories." Eliza moved away to a corner, returning while juggling two wrapped gift.

"It's that manga of Levi's that you like, it's the full published series so you don't need to keep borrowing it." Turning to Beel, "pyjamas. Large oversized thick and comfy pyjamas. I washed them too so that they would smell nice and wouldn't be scratchy. So this is your present: A sleepover, cuddled together under the blankets, in large comfortable clothes, eating junk food and reading manga where none of your brothers can interrupt." Eliza stopped for a breath, their proud smile dimming a bit, "I guess your presents are your sins..."

"No. They're not." Beel said firmly. Hands already unbuckling his pants and sliding them down. He changed his clothes quickly with no care for either of his audience who, to his credit, failed to react. He folded the old ones and placed them in a corner while Belphie removed his boots.

"They're not," Beel said again looking straight at Eliza, "They're quality time doing things we love with the people we love, without having to worry about anything else." He walks up to them, enfolding them in a warm, soft hug. "Thank you, Eliza."

"Right, right. Our sins are part of it because those are things we enjoy. But they're not the actual gift. Like you said it's the settings and accessories that make the actual gift. And that's spending time together without any of those idiots interrupting us for once."

"It's a good gift." Beel said, as Belphie slid into the hug. Beel lifted them both off their feet as they clung to him.

"Happy Birthday guys," Eliza said through their laughter.

"Love you," they both said in unison.

[sanders-specs]

Roman’s Playlist Analysis

A/N: So I wanted to take a crack at diving into Roman’s Playlist and analyzing it to the best of my abilities. how each song relates to Roman, his character, his part of Thomas. I thought about the story arc Thomas talked about and tried to put that together a little bit. 

Now keep in mind this is just my interpretation of it. I could be completely wrong in my conclusions, and honestly I’m interested to know your thoughts if you disagree with me on anything. 

I’m going to leave my basic tl;dr here because this is long as hell. I went into each song so it’s a long read. I’m also going to tag some people who seemed interested in this. I’d say if you were going to read any of the song analysis, to read the last three. they’re my favorite. 

tag list: @viva-la-pluto @nonexistent-username @writingfeedsthedarkestones @such-as-we-are-made-such-we-be

Here’s the story of Roman’s playlist:

We start with some pretty obvious songs that show who Roman is. He’s a huge fan of Disney, gay, he loves Broadway and wants to be famous. He’s a hero, someone who will vanquish his foes and come out victorious! He has big dreams, and he’s determined to make them come true! He’s got high expectations, both for himself and for a future romantic partner. He’s confident, determined, sassy, and a huge diva.

Then we go a little deeper. He’s lonely, he’s desperate for love. He wants someone in his life. He wants to achieve his dreams so badly, but he has doubts. He’s unsure of himself. Both as a performer and as a lover.  He’s unsure of his place among Thomas’s sides, if he’s important to them. He’s just really afraid, underneath it all. He’s so, so scared of possible failure, of letting Thomas down.

But he still wants to be the leader for the actors and singers and creators following him. He wants to show them that you can get back up again and take off after your dreams.

And then he decides that he wants to be the one to go after his dreams. really, truly, fully. He’s lonely, he’s scared of failure, but he doesn’t want to let that hold him back anymore.

Okay let’s start with the very first song on the playlist, A Gay Disney Prince.

So this one will be pretty obvious for everyone. Roman is a prince, Thomas is gay (ergo Roman is gay). Roman loves Disney. I would’ve been very confused if this song didn’t make it onto his playlist. I would’ve had to gotten through my social anxiety to ask them why. But they have it on there, so I don’t have to.

My interest lies in the fact that it’s the first song on there. Thomas said that while putting together to playlist, they were trying to make it like a story—a beginning, a climatic middle, and an end. So to start off with this song honestly makes a lot of sense to me.

Most kids walked through life but I sang and danced

… Everyone around me could see That Disney meant everything And as I grew up Disney did too

It starts with talking about Thomas (we’re going to talk mostly about Character Thomas, since in this context it feels a little weird to talk about Roman as if he wasn’t apart of a person) growing up loving music and Disney. So we’re starting from the beginning here, talking about when Thomas was younger. And as he grew up and his love of Disney did too, so did his realization of his sexuality. This song, as originally intended by (real) Thomas and Joan is that growing up as a gay man would have been a lot easier had Disney had that representation.

Disney don't shoot so straight You're in the musical scene --- A guy who likes guys who is still humanized in his Film! ---- Try the gay stuff, it's delicious! Please give us more than this bullshit Yeah, that's a bit screwy Makes me say Lefouey Put me in a film Gee, that would be swell --- Who is that prince I see? Very straight, unlike me

And then the stanza that really ties it all together: If only I'd had you in my early years I might have seemed less weird to my non-queer peers Who'd mature into parents, understanding and warm Knowing hetero-ever-after doesn't have to be the norm If they'd have seen

Someone like me

A gay Disney prince

Roman (C!Thomas) longs to have had that understanding as a child, to have that representation in the movies and songs and characters he loves so much. Roman is the side of hopes and dreams and romance. This one falls under the hope category, even though he is all grown up now, he still yearns to see a true gay Disney prince for that validation.

So we start simultaneously in Thomas’s childhood as well as him in the present. At least, the part that Roman cares the most about. Really who he wishes he could be.

 Now onto the next song, Wonder Boy. Now, I know this is from a musical (appropriate), and one that I know next to nothing about, so I’m just going to go off the lyrics. Forgive me if I overlook something related to the plot of the show.

This song is one that highlights Roman’s need to be a hero.

High above the mucky-muck Castle made of clouds There sits Wonderboy Sitting oh so proudly

He wants to save the day! Concur the villain! Wonderboy is someone who sits above all and has all these powers to help him with this conquest!

The song goes on to talk about Wonderboy’s arch-nemisis, Nastyman, who has all these powers that make him on level with Wonderboy.

Now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman Arch-rival and nemesis of Wonderboy With powers comparable to Wonderboy What powers you ask? I don't know how about the power of flight That do anything for ya? That's levitation, holmes How about the power to kill a yak From 200 yards away With mind-bullets That's telekinesis, Kyle How about the power To move you

Reminds ya a bit of Roman and Virgil huh? Roman is able to have a very big influence on Thomas. He literally holds Thomas’s hopes and dreams and everything he wants to do with his life. Virgil, on the other hand, can stop Thomas from achieving those dreams out of fear. He can be louder than Roman, get Thomas’s attention easier, make Thomas pay attention to him.

It’s interesting to me that in the song, Wonderboy and Nastyman end up joining forces in the end. It reminds me a little of Accepting Anxiety and Moving On, when Roman has to accept the fact that he has to work with Virgil in order for Thomas to be successful. He “joined forces” with the “villain” in order to be “victorious.” Well Wonderboy and Young Nastyman joined forces They formed a band the likes of which had never been seen And they called themselves Tenacious D That's right

Oh Take my hand Young Nastyman And we'll fly Bring out your broadsword There's the Hydra Slice his throat And grab his scrot' You take the high road I'll take the low

In the end, Roman learned that Virgil not only helps Thomas a lot, but works well with him in order for Thomas to create as well as he does. The “bring out your bradsword/there’s a Hydra/Slice his throat” part, to me, in the context of Roman, shows that he’s handing some of the control—and the glory—to Virgil. He’s letting Virgil help and working with him, like a team in a fantasy story learning to work together and finally finding how they work as a team.

 And now…Disney Princess.

I love this song. It cracks me up. I think Thomas had it on one of his monthly playlists and that’s how I found it, but I love it so much. I’m so glad it’s on this playlist.

This song is chock full of satire. they take the ridiculous parts of the movies and put them in the song. And seeing as this comes after the Wonderboy song, you could honestly draw a comparison to The Dark Side of Disney which is really the first time Roman realizes he actually has something in common with Virgil, the supposed villain. It’s got the same kind of sarcasm that Virgil adopts in that video with the movies.

But there’s also a bit of wistfulness in it, because, yeah, the Disney princesses are the stars of Disney. The princes didn’t get a couple of cameos in the second Wreck-It-Ralph movie that Disney over-sold. As ridiculous as the situations the princesses went through at times, they do all have these amazing abilities and experiences.

If I were a Disney Princess I would have everything at my fingertips

---

And I wish I could be a Disney Princess So I could fight the Mongolian army

---

I could cry life saving tears I could resurrect dead men with my tears

--

Mulan, I wanna be you So that I could have a sassy dragon I want a sassy dragon

The song also makes it clear that they want all the good stuff that comes with being a Disney Princess. The attention, the powers, highfiving the ocean.

Also sassy dragon. We all want a sassy dragon in our lives.

I can see how Roman would hear this song and relate to it. Circling back to the first song, there’s no prince out there he can relate to, so he projects onto the heroines, the princesses. They always get the man, after all.

Then there’s this las verse, which I think is the most Roman out of the entire song.

I wanna be a Disney Princess And if I were I'd take no recess to spread the warmth and love It's the best way to live your life I'd be a handsome man's wife And we'd kiss, and we'd kiss, and we'd kiss it’s full of wistfulness and is really the only verse in the song that is more positive and not as sarcastic. Not only that, but it’s romantic as well. Replace wife with husband and you’ve got one of Roman’s biggest dreams: to find the [second] most handsomest prince in the world.

 Broadway Here I Come!

From the brief research I did, this is a song from a musical TV series. I’m not going to go too much into it’s original context. And if you’re triggered by sensitive material, I suggest you don’t look it up either.

So in this song, it’s another pretty obvious Roman song. It talks about wanting to be on Broadway, to be famous, to be known, and how hard that success is. For any musical theater performer, Broadway is the ultimate goal. For someone like Roman, who does crave that success and fame, this song is almost like his cries of longing for it.

It shows how hard it is to make it. To be known and gain that success, and how even though some make it look easy, it’s actually very hard.

See I've been bravin' crazy weather Drownin' out my cries I pull myself together I'm focused on the prize

---

The people all are pointing I bet they'd never guess That the saint that they're anointing Is frightened of the mess But even though I fear it I'm playin' all my cards

It’s also got this hopefulness in it. Like the singer has no doubt that they’re going to make it. But there’s also some doubt. Will they still be the same person? Or will they change dramatically?

Will I remain the same, or will I change a little bit? Will I feel broken or totally complete? Will I retain my name when I'm the biggest, hugest hit? Or will I blend in with the rest of the street?

Roman, as much as he acts heroic and like he fears nothing, wants nothing more than to be known, be given the validation, to show off his talents. He knows he’s good, he knows he’s got what it takes, but it’s  hard for him to get there. Maybe even to have the confidence to get there. People have to like him in order for him to have all that. They have to like his ideas, his talents. Without their validation, Thomas can’t succeed. Roman can’t succeed.

 On to Hallelujah. No, not the amazing Jeff Buckly song (though this song is pretty amazing and catchy).

This one kinda ties in with the last one. It talks about wanting to be someone, wanting to be super star. And having people doubt that, even your own family. Also being inspired by other artist and the creations they make.

 I heard it on the radio On my way back home That I'm gonna be someone I guess it was a song they wrote Saying don’t go slow 'Cause you're gonna be someone

--- Some days I don’t think my momma thinks I'm good enough to be a superstar But one day I will show her I'm a diamond in the rough, I'll be a superstar

It also throws that doubt in their faces. It kinda hints that their doubt only makes them want to succeed even more.  

'Cause there's a crown Covered in glitter and gold I'm gonna wear it, whether you like it or not Yeah, there's a crown Covered in glitter and gold I’m gonna wear it, whether you like it or not And I’ll be singing Halle-halle-halle-halle-halle-hallelujah Halle-hallelujah Whether you like it or not

Also, no, I’m not going to ignore the ‘there’s a crown covered in glitter and gold’. Give Roman a glittery gold crown 2020.

But yeah, it really goes with the previous song. It matches the theme of Roman wanting to be famous, wanting Thomas to be famous and known. To wear that crown, no matter what anyone else says. No matter what they think, or how much they believe in him. It goes against the doubt in the last song, but don’t we all have those moments of doubt, then confidence, then doubt again? Our confidence can wavier and surge just as much as our anxiety.

 Holding Out For A Hero. Ah, what a great song. Still should have been the Shrek 2 version because man could I have made some comparisons, but oh well.

So here we’ve taken a break from the dreams part and gone back to the hope and romance part. This song is pretty self-explanatory. The singer is looking for a partner who will be, well, their hero to come rescue them.

Now, I’m not sure if the intention for the inclusion of this song was that Roman would be that hero, if he is also waiting for that hero, or a bit of both. He is very save-the-damsel-in-distress type of prince archetype after all. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants a prince who matches his own heroic ideals and who would treat him the same. It also says a little something about his standards. He won’t let Thomas settle for just anyone. He’s got to be perfect (Roman’s standards of perfect, anyway).  

Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn, and I dream of what I need I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life Somewhere after midnight in my wildest fantasy Somewhere just beyond my reach, there's someone reaching back for me Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet

Yes, I had to include the entire first part of the song. I honestly feel like it sums up Roman’s standards pretty well. He won’t settle for anything less than superman or Hercules himself.

On the other hand, it could be Roman’s standards for himself as well. He has to be that Superman, the savior of all those in trouble and be the dashing white knight. Just as he holds his talents up to high standards, he holds his entire self up to high standards (his…part of the personality?). His actions, his thoughts, his ideas. Everything has to be perfect. He has to be the hero to everyone around him.

 If I Dare is so fucking beautiful. Sara Bareilles has such a pretty voice.

I love the message in it too. It’s such a strong “fuck off and watch me” song.

Which, you know, also goes with Roman. It ties in well with Hallelujah. It follows the same themes of people doubting the singer, and the singer basically saying “hold my purse” and going to prove their doubters wrong.

This song is basically saying, dare to hold yourself to higher standards than what others hold you to. Dare to do more than what you thought you could, because you really can surprise yourself.

Seriously just really listen to this song, it’s so empowering. I’m literally going to leave most of the lyrics, aside from the repeating ones. It’s so fucking great.

If I dare to ask it, then I dare it to be true If I dare to risk it, then I know that I'm willing to If I dare to want this, to want more than I have Then I dare to believe I'll have it in the end You climbed the mountain, sent pictures of the view And still can't believe when I started climbing, too You haven't heard that I'm not afraid to fall That I'm not deterred yet until I tell them all I am holding out for more than what I have now I'm holding out I don't want your pity, I won't use your little scraps I don't build my cities with what could get taken back I don't need permission to rise up when it hurts You don't have to listen, but you'll hear me Mark my words When the room gets dark, and I am quiet There's a voice that's soft, like someone's silhouette Saying, "Don't let me go yet" If I dare to ask it, then I dare it to be true (Believe me, I will be) If I dare to risk it, then I know that I'm willing to If I dare to want this, to want more than i have (Believe me, I will be) Then I dare to believe I'll have it in the end

If you can’t tell, I love this song.

It’s got such a confidence surge in it. It also goes with my last point in Holding Out for a Hero of Roman holding himself to high standards. Not only does he want to be a hero to others, and he’s not going to settle for any less, he’s not going to let anyone stop him. He’s not going to let the doubt, the fear, of others influence him. He’s going to take their pity and doubt and use it to make him stronger. He’s going to hold himself to these standards and take his own fate into his hands and be like Merida (no not go on a psychedelic trip with a bear, but good memory). He is going to be the gay Disney prince he needed so much for himself.

 Go the Distance continues the “I’ll do what I want” theme. And I don’t mean that in an angsty teen kinda way. Just in a “You can’t strike down my confidence” kind of way.

Now, the tone of this song, while heroic and hopeful, is also a little softer than the others, so it kinda feels like it doesn’t fit, but the lyrics and meaning of it does.

Hercules is probably the closest Disney has to a Disney Prince being the main character of the movie (having the movie named after him, going into his backstory first, all that jazz). At least off the top of my head. He at the very least is the closest to having a hero song akin to Let it Go, Almost there, How Far I’ll Go, Show Yourself etc. (yes, Elsa’s on there twice. Yes, I know she’s not technically a princess, but she also has some pretty badass songs in what is technically considered Disney Princess movies).

And, I mean, it’s an incredibly hopeful song. Hercules is going out to prove himself, to show that he can be the hero he was born to be. I can see how that is something Roman would look to. How he can relate to.

It also goes along with the idea of wanting to be known and seen. Recognized for what you do.

I have often dreamed of a far-off place Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face

The song is also about finding your place, where you feel like you should be. About keeping up hope as you go through the paths to where you need to be. Where that “hero’s welcome” will be waiting. Hercules feels like an outsider, like he doesn’t belong, so he’s searching for that place.

I'll be there someday, I can go the distance I will find my way, if I can be strong I know every mile, will be worth my while When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

We all feel like that sometimes. Like we’re trying to find our place in the world. In the context of Roman, he’s in the middle of searching for that place. He wants Thomas to be in a place where he feels like he belongs, where he feels welcomed and embraced. In the theater world, maybe. Or YouTube. Maybe even Hollywood. Somewhere he can flourish, really show what he’s capable of, what Roman knows he’s capable of. But also where he doesn’t have to hide who he is, be it a different part of his talents or his sexuality. Roman wants Thomas to be in a place where people will embrace all of Roman.

And he’s going to find it. He’s going to do what it takes to get there.

 Flamboyant is a fun one. This one delves into who Roman is, the kind of character that he is, rather than what he encompasses in Thomas. At least, that’s the way I see it. I’m sure if roman were the only side there, then, well, Thomas would just be Roman.

Looking at the lyrics and thinking back on the previous songs, this one makes me think that even though Roman wants (needs) people to like him, he also wants to be unapologetically himself. Extravagance and all.

Don't tell me what to do Don't tell me what to say You know I like it loud 'Cause that's the only way No taste for subtlety And no time for restraint No, I go all the way

I think we can all agree that this pretty much sums up Roman and the energy he gives off. We saw him in Virgil’s room. In Patton’s. Subtly is not something he’s very good at and he’s not very good with taking other people’s opinions (or suggestions) when it comes to his ideas or his work.

You always see me putting on a show I entertain until it's time to go

He’s always playing up the prince role. The actor role. He doesn’t tone it down. The fancy phrases, the exaggerated movement, the way he dresses.

At least until he thinks no one’s looking.

 Alllllright now we’re getting into the love songs. Or…lust songs? Is that a category?

Okay, look, I’m ace, sex repulsed, and clueless at times. I’ll do my best here. But looking at the next few songs, it’s not a very happy story.

Jumpstarted is a song that I honestly can’t really pin down what it’s about. It’s catchy, for sure. I love the harmonies in it. But I can’t tell if it’s a love song or has a different meaning that I’m not going to delve into.

But in Roman’s case, it seems like a song that screams love. Roman is a part of Thomas that falls in love easily. He’s romance, after all (and, yes, lust. Remus too). So this song shows how easily he falls, and how easily those fantasies of romance can take hold.

As two hearts started dancing A new story begins

---

To the races, got my love jumpstarted The only one I want is you (Say it again, hey!) I hear the bells, and they're ringing already Four kids and a big ol' wedding, singing "You" (Say it again, hey!) Now as I make the long walk home You got me feeling like an overdose, singing (You)

Thomas is a romantic. Roman is proof enough of that. In Moving On, he’s coming up with all these wild ideas to get Thomas’s ex back. In other videos when they talk about love, he always expresses the most wistful reaction (or overdramatic. Or, well, both). Thomas sees one cute guy and Roman is already planning the next five years of their lives together. Not only does he want the romance, he craves it, so the tiny semblance of it has him running headlong into it.

And your gravity, my depravity won't take my advice (So nice) I never run while I still (Can)

Brave New Girl makes me think that this shows a wilder side of Roman. I suppose if there’s any side of Thomas who likes to part, it’d be Roman.

Also reckless.

Brave New Girl is a song that seems like it’s about someone who is new to the world, maybe a little naïve, but still out to have a good time. It’s reminiscent of your classic collage story. A freshman girl away from home for the first time and embracing the “collage life.” Parties, hook ups, your stereotypical definition of having fun (in the case of collage movies and such).

She wants a good time, no need to rewind She needs to really, really find what she wants She lands on both feet, won't take a back seat There's a brave new girl, and she's coming out tonight

Roman out of everyone else is the side that would really push Thomas to just let go, have fun. Maybe if Thomas wasn’t so introverted, he would be able to meet the love of his life. Maybe if Thomas didn’t hold himself back (or I suppose if Logan and Virgil didn’t hold him back) then they could have more fun and accomplish his dreams. And meet the love of his life!

This could also be reminiscent of Thomas’s coming out? It’s not something I want to try to “analyze” because that’s something personal to Thomas and also not something I’m too familiar with. I don’t really want to step on any toes. But with the song talking about a new person entering the world, and “uncovering [their] eyes” I thought to mention it here. After all, it would be after that that Roman really would get the chance to be fully himself.

 Every Boy is very self explanatory. It’s just Roman being gay.

‘I just wanna kiss every boy in the world’ is repeated so many times, ya’ll. Like at this point you’ve probably listened to it, but that one phrase takes up most of the song.

It’s very much showing Thomas’s sexuality, because again, that’s a big part of Roman since he encompasses romance and sexuality.

It also shows a lot of wistfulness, because Thomas is single and doesn’t have a boy to kiss. Even the tone in the song kinda reflects that. He’s lonely he just wants to kiss a boy. All the boys. In the world.

But yeah Thomas really likes boys. Roman really really likes boys.

 Okay now we’re just to the point of Roman being sassy.

Primadonna definition: a very temperamental person with an inflated view of their own talent or importance.

Sound like someone we know?

The song, Primadonna, really just reminds me again of Roman and how he acts and presents himself.

Living life like I'm in a play In the limelight I want to stay I know I've got a big ego I really don't know why it's such a big deal though

---

All I ever wanted was the world I can't help that I need it all The primadonna life, the rise and fall You say that I'm kinda difficult But it's always someone else's fault

The song also goes back to the whole Roman doing what he can to achieve his dreams, in a way. He is going to do what he can to get what he wants, but he doesn’t want to change who he is in order to get there. These last few songs really show that too, I think. The first songs, while showing longing for his hopes and dreams, these are showing that Roman honestly isn’t afraid to be himself. He’s out and proud, he’s got an ego (he is an ego), he’s sassy, extravagant, maybe a bit high matinance, and he doesn’t want to or plan to change for anyone.

 Though…

King kinda has an exception.

Remember how I said Roman falls in love easily?

Yeah, this song kinda shows how that can go wrong. He clings to his loves, we’ve seen it. His refusal to let go of Thomas’s ex really shows that. Of course, there are lot of layers to that, but Roman was just as guilty about making Thomas (Patton) hold on to the hope of winning him back.

And, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh I was a king under your control And, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh I wanna feel like you've let me go

Maybe in this case it means that Roman (Thomas) felt that perhaps his ex did have some semblance of control over him still. He must have, if Thomas was still thinking about him.

I don’t want to reach too far with this comparison. Thomas left the details of his ex pretty vague. But still, it’s the only reason I can think of that this song would be on the playlist. Or the fact that Roman, while very forward and dramatic, can fall under the gaze of a pretty guy.

 Cheap Queen is a song I had to look into a bit to understand it. Cheap queen is “a drag term for someone who is resourceful, who makes something out of nothing, who is a creator on a budget” (this is coming from the singer). While Roman isn’t a drag queen, he would take inspiration from them, and that definition can describe the kind of creator Roman is.

But there are some lyrics here that put in the context of Roman make me think that it shows more of his doubts.

I've been alright I've just been doing the same shit I've always liked (Smiling for the audience) Like smoking and movies and homies who bring me wine I've been going out too much (Queen) And talking 'bout myself too much (Oh, smiling for the audience)

Side thought: This song feels very…1920’s actress smoking in a green room vibes.

Why? I have no idea. Maybe it’s the background audio.

But it makes me think about this diva in a swing dress, a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Yeah, I watch too much TV.

I can be good sometimes I'm a cheap queen I can be what you like And I can be bad sometimes I'm a real queen I can make grown men cry

Something about this verse makes me think that it’s a bit of Roman trying to prove himself? To himself, to the others, to his audience. While still trying to keep up his persona. Again, he wants people to like him, to like what he does. He is Thomas’s ego after all. He wants to please the masses.

 Humility is where we get real.

So far, I think we’ve gone from who Roman is on the surface and slowly dug down. We’ve seen his insecurities, his hopes, his dreams, his more sexy side, his desperate side.

Now we’re seeing the lonely side.

Calling the world from isolation 'Cause right now, that's the ball where we be chained

---

I'm the lonely twin, the left hand Reset myself and get back on track I don't want this isolation See the state I'm in now?

Now I this verse isn’t intentionally targeting towards Roman, complete with the twin part, then I don’t know why it would be on this playlist. He feels isolated. Romantically, socially. Perhaps even among the sides. Look at the point where we are right now in the series. He had to give up on a huge dream with the callback. He’s being put on the back burner, Remus—the side he said is everything he doesn’t want to be—is now known to Thomas which means he has to deal with him even more.

If I pick it up when I know that it's broken Do I put it back? Or do I head out onto the lonesome trail And let you down?

I think he’s scared of letting Thomas down. Of not reaching the goals he sets out for them, of Logan being right. That the path Thomas is on is not one that is right for him. So he’s alone and scared and doubting himself and doing everything he can not to show it

 Following that, Ain’t Got it Like That shows a bit of self-understanding, if I phrased that right?

Roman knows that he’s the only one of the sides who really wants these hopes and dreams for Thomas. Patton wants Thomas to be happy, so sure he supports Roman, but if Thomas were to listen to Logan or Deceit (and suppress Roman, his true hopes and dreams), then he would support them too.

One in a million, maybe it's me The chances of winning are slimmer than three Moving and shaking and makin' it happen Producing and singing while people was trappin' Chasing a dream and living for free A whole lotta people help the hell out of me A job ain't the move, I'm just a musician I followed the path, continued the mission

Roman’s going to continue being himself, doing his job, and trying to make himself heard. Even if he’s lonely and has self-confidence issues. He’s nothing if not determined. And as the song says, “a whole lotta people help the hell out of me.”

One thing Thomas has is friends and family who support and encourage him. They help to feed into what Roman wants and helps to give him the reassurance that he needs that he’s on the right path.

I got soul and a whole lotta songs I get love even if I'm dead wrong And I know that I got what I need Even when I don't got what I want

Roman is convinced he’s right. Look at how hard he fought Logan during their episode. He knows he can be wrong, he knows he’s not perfect, but he also knows that when it comes to the path Thomas is on, he is right and he is at least confidant in that fact.

Look I've thinking that I'm at the limit The fact I need money with all my decisions I want it all and all, I'll admit it If you never had it, I know that you get it They say that everything ain't gold, but damn I mean, I... wanna little of my own I'm sayin' that I know that (I know that) They say that pressure makes diamonds But I just wanna pay my bills on time

I feel like this song really shows that he understands that being a singer and performer is hard and definitely not the easy way out. The is really the only song here that talks about money. It’s hard to make it as a performer. YouTuber, actor, you name it. Roman knows this, but that doesn’t stop him from dreaming and being determined to go after those dreams.

 God I love these last three songs

Do you guys have those set of songs that are like your inspirational songs? Ones that really make you feel good and the lyrics really speak to you and make you want to really go after what you want? Songs of hope. They sometimes make you cry if you think about the lyrics too much.

I feel like those are these songs for Roman. Or maybe I’m just projecting.

Dreamer is another song where I might just have all the lyrics here, because the entire song just feels like Roman talking to himself. Reminding himself of all these things.

Dream, little dreamer Don't care what they say Don't let the pain of their failure Tear you away

The other Sides. Logan, mainly. The naysayers on YouTube, the old friends who don’t believe in him. The people around him who fail at what he’s trying to do. He can’t let that get to him. He can’t let them get into his head. He has to keep going.

You can do anything What would you do if I told you You would always succeed

He has to remember that he can do anything. Thomas is capable of anything.

And well we're afraid of the same things Scared to end up alone Scared that no one will remember our names And well we're afraid of the same things Scared to try and to fail Scared our best isn't good enough

This really circles back to some of the middle songs. He wants to be remembered, known. He’s afraid he’s going to fail. That Thomas will not only not achieve his dreams, but that he will be alone through it all. Not even a shoulder to cry on. He scared of that failure. Scared of letting Thomas down. And through that…Thomas is scared of letting himself down.

Dream like you won't fail Sing like no one's there Dance like you don't care

And I mean you really have to. If you think too much about that failure, that fear, then it can hinder you. You have to move through life like you’re going to achieve your dreams, that no one can hold you back, not even yourself.

Even if you are scared. Even if you do really, really care.

Don't fear, little dreamer You'll get there one day And I know that it's scary But you'll succeed

Don't fear, little dreamer Let them hear you sing What would you do if I told you That we'll always believe

He has to remind himself of all of this. This support, this encouragement, is something every creator needs. It’s the fuel that keeps us going. So having this, in just a song, is so important for him.

And we all Oh we question the same things Why does life seem unfair Why does loneliness hurt so much

This part really highlights Roman’s feelings. Again, he’s lonely in this. He feels like life is unfair, that a wedding is getting it the way of achieving a dream he’s so close to.

And we all Oh we question the same things What is my purpose in life Why does love never seem like enough

I don’t really have too much to add to this one. I feel like it’s something that stands by itself. I can really see how Roman feels this way, asking himself these same questions.

---

You're exceptional You're original So stay true to your soul Don't let them take that away You're magnificent You're sensational And the dreams that you're dreaming will surely come true one day

More reminders that he needs to tell himself. That he needs to remember. He can’t let the doubters hold him back from his dreams. He can’t let the setbacks stop him.

I can imagine Roman having this song on when he’s feeling down. When the weight of all his failures and his loneliness feel like too much. I can picture him hanging on to every lyric, learning them and memorizing them so call on later when he starts to feel those doubts again.

Dream, little dreamer

 This next song makes me cry.

Paving the Runway (You’re Gonna Fly) is so fucking good. It’s so pretty. The piano is gorgeous, the message is beautiful, it’s so soft. I love it a lot.

Okay, anyway.

This is another one that is there for encouragement. A reminder not to give up. Not even when your wings are broken and battered.

Go after your dreams, as crazy as they may seem Go chase all the stars in the sky Baby, I'll be paving the runway 'Cause I know that one day you're gonna fly Darling, stand on my shoulders Up where it's carefree, simple and good Baby, soon you'll be older You will reach higher than I ever could If ever your wings, are tired and broken things Can't see through the tears in your eyes Baby, I'll be paving the runway 'Cause I know that one day you're gonna fly

I can see Roman being tired. His job is not an easy one. He wants so much for himself, for Thomas, but it’s so hard. The rejections, the mistakes, the hardwork going into a project only for it to not do well. It’s enough to beat you down, flood you with doubts.

Think about the songs leading up to this. Growing up without seeing yourself in your favorite movies, trying so hard to work towards his dreams of singing and acting. Trying so hard to find love, only for it to be just as hard. being in this lonely place where he feels like he’s working by himself, not even the other sides really helping him (Patton being an exception at times, but even then, when it came to wedding vs callback, Patton went with wedding).

This is a song I think Roman would really need after all of that.

Another thing I like to think about with this, though, is that Roman is the one singing it to others. He’s been there, he knows what it’s like. He’s got bandaged wings that are still strong. He wants to be able to pave the runway for those coming after him. He wants to be a beacon of light for actors and singers and creators who were once or still are in his position, taking their hand, and helping them up, getting them running, and watching them fly towards their own dreams.

Maybe it’s a mixture of both. Maybe he’s not going to be the first gay Disney prince, but he can sure as hell make way for him, wherever he may be, while still going after his own dreams.

 Now, imagine:

Roman is watching these other creators, all flying off towards their dreams. he take a deep breath and starts running himself.

GO is the song that plays as he takes off with his own bandaged and tattered wings.

Why are you waiting for Another open door You've seen it all before GO Exit stage left Lay your act to rest Don't second guess GO Do Do Do Do Do Do, Do Do

--

The fear within Has held you hostage Break free and live

Roman has been doubting himself. He’s been scared and lonely and not sure if what he’s doing, what he wants, is right.

He wants to think it is. No, he knows it is. So why is he holding himself back? He needs to just go, to do it.

I like that this song leaves it off with an ending, but not one that just ends, if that makes sense. Roman is off, going after his dreams. he picked himself back up and he’s off. What is he going to do next? Where is his next destination? Well, we’ll just have to wait and see.

[fallout4holmes]

Nuka-World 5

Holmes held off on putting up a flag in Kiddie Kingdom; he wanted to give Oswald plenty of time to round up his remaining friends and leave town before raiders moved in. Holmes also wanted to see more of Nuka-Town's exterior, keep going before we attracted attention with his absence. I think part of him was hoping to see some chink in the wall, some flaw we could use to our advantage. Heck, I know I was.

All we found was a foul-tempered deathclaw.

"Did you ever hear Danse's recommendation for how to hunt deathclaws?" Holmes hissed as I got a stimpack in him afterward. "'Return to base and forget about it. You'll live longer.'"

I chuckled, "Man's got a sense of humor I never give him credit for. You alright?" He nodded. "Honest answer, Sherlock," I said with a small smile.

Holmes frowned and admitted, "There is a ringing in my ears, but the rest of me will be fine as soon as the stimpak does its work."

I gently tilted his head back to get a look at his eyes. "Vision blurry?"

He hesitated, "Slightly."

"I want that Dr. Mackenzie to check you out. Might have a concussion."

"We can't waste the opportunity—"

"I'm not risking you being hurt worse than you look," I said, firm. "I know I'm killing a great chance for intel, make a plan, get the hell out of this place… but damn it, Sherlock, it doesn't do me any good if you wind up getting hurt beyond repair."

"If it meant you at least could get home—"

"You're gonna stop that kind of talk right now. You're seeing the doc," I helped him up, "and we'll figure something out."

I helped him back, but he insisted on going in through the front gate on his own. He pulled it off too, not that I thought he wouldn’t. The guy’s impressively stubborn. Maybe I should have said “infuriatingly,” but I guess it’s a bit of both. The doc checked him over, with the marketplace guards looking curious all the while. No one asked any questions, and Dr. Mackenzie said he probably suffered a mild concussion and needed to take it easy a couple days.

“Limited physical exertion and mental concentration, if possible,” she suggested. I guess it’s hard for a doctor to be firm with her patient when she’s got a shock collar around her neck.

Holmes sighed, “Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to be an option.”

With that, we headed back to the Overboss’s room. Gage was waiting for us by the lift and followed us up. As soon as we were safely above listening ears, Gage helped himself to the bar. “Shit,” the raider chugged a swallow of what was probably vodka, “The fuck were you thinking, boss?! Everyone’s talking about how all of a sudden Kiddie Kingdom ain’t got a rads problem anymore, you can see the fucking park instead of a green haze! Then you come walking back in, go straight to the doc, and she tells you to take it easy?”

He slammed the bottle down on the bar and started pacing. “So you went in, cleaned out the park, nearly got yourself killed, and didn’t put up a flag. What the Fuck am I supposed to do with that?” He turned to me, “Shut up, I don’t want an answer, I got an answer already lined up. You gotta understand, the new Overboss getting his ass kicked doesn’t look good.” He turned back to Holmes, “You made it here without help, that’s good, but you look like shit. Cleaning out Kiddie Kingdom, rads central. Makes sense you’d get sick. I can run that angle. No flag? Eh, who wants the kid town anyway. Besides, wanna give it time to air out or whatever. That’ll keep folks… not happy, but not angry, which is the important part. Soon as you're ready, we’ll head out for one of the other parks." Gage walked right up to Holmes then, "This time, I’m coming with. Can’t let anyone get the idea I don’t care about the Overboss’s health.”

So much for finding a way out on our own.

The Galactic Zone was west of Nuka-Town and, according to Gage, the traders used to scavenge for scrap in the space-themed park before the raiders moved in. The dead bodies by the entrance weren’t encouraging.

Holmes looked at Gage. Gage shrugged, “I dunno what killed ‘em, they were here when we took over the place.”

Holmes searched the bodies and found a holotape. It was a diary; the dead traders had come to salvage the tech in the park, but something had gone wrong. Something called a "Star Control."

"The fuck is a star control?" Gage grumbled.

"I don't know," Holmes said, pistol drawn, "but activating it somehow caused these people's deaths."

Gage was not impressed, "Killing a bunch of traders already running away don't mean much."

"I have found it is best to be cautious when dealing with technology one does not understand," Holmes said flatly.

We headed in. Considering the theme of the park, the hostile robots weren't much of a surprise, but the number and variety was a bit of a shock.

"Didn't think I'd be getting shot at by a walking refrigerator today!" I shouted to Holmes as we took cover from the bot's blue blasts.

"Is it really shooting that Quantum shit??" Gage sounded offended. He got off a few shots with his rifle, shattering the display screen on top of the fridge. It didn't seem to slow it down. “Never did have the aim to knock the batteries out of 'em,” Gage shouted, “Always had to take down robots the hard way!”

Holmes drew Oswald's sword and charged. I swore, loudly, “Damn it, Gage, don’t give him ideas!!” Gage and I rushed after Holmes as he crippled the robot. Then I saw the eyebots. And the protectron. “We got company!”

“C’mere, spare parts!” Gage growled and opened fire.

I’ll give Gage some small credit; the man’s good in a fight, even if I hate how he shanghaied us into this mess. The three of us took the robots out, but that was just the welcoming committee. The whole park was populated by modified models of robots, painted in Nuka colors. Holmes wanted to find the Star Control, figuring that whatever it was probably had something to do with the robots run amok, and the dead traders out front.

None of us were expecting it to be a huge military-grade computer mainframe.

Gage whistled low, “Well ain't this somethin'. Probably don't all work, but... I'm gonna keep my hands to myself just the same.”

“You’re smarter than you look,” I muttered.

“Least I look like something, instead of falling apart.”

“Enough,” Holmes ordered. He approached a corpse holding a black circuit board with glowing red lights. The board was the same size and shape as the empty panels all across the mainframe. Holmes placed the board in one of the panels, and the mainframe powered up.

“Guess shooting it won’t do the trick, huh?” Gage joked as Holmes accessed the terminal.

“Shooting things is rarely an effective way to gain information, Mr. Gage,” Holmes said.

“Sure it is,” Gage shrugged, “you just gotta be careful not to kill ‘em on the first shot.”

While Holmes read, I looked around. The building was a military and space exhibit, a diorama of a Quantum-blue suit of power armor on the moon enclosed by glass in the middle. The fella Holmes had taken the gadget from had a holotape on him. Turned out he was the one that turned on the robots to defend his people from Colter's raiders, before making sure that the system could handle it. ‘What’s the worst that could happen,’ he wondered.

Well.

Holmes stepped away from the terminal and gestured to the panels, “The system is a Systemized Telemetry for Automated Robot Control, or S.T.A.R. Control. These cores enable communication to all of the robots in the park. If we can find the cores, we can shut the robots down and eventually disable the defense mode they’re currently in.”

“Find the shiny rectangle things? That’s it?” Gage said.

“And not get killed by rampaging robots in the process,” Holmes nodded.

“Right. I’m so glad we picked this park to start off,” Gage headed toward the entrance, “who’s bright idea was that?”

“Yours,” I said.

It’s hard to imagine Nuka-World as a place families once came to when you’re shooting robots alongside a raider who essentially kidnapped you and your partner to force you into being his front for power… but the Galactic Zone was probably pretty impressive back in its day. RobCo sponsored a battle arena to show off its robots, there was a movie theater featuring whatever sci-fi flick of the day, a space-adventure roller coaster, everything a kid with a fascination for robots and astronauts could want. There was also a Vault-Tec exhibit.

The attraction was obviously just a way to attract customers to purchase spots in vaults. I got a kick out of the "Mutations: It Could Happen To You” pamphlet we found behind a desk. Of course, it’s not really Vault-Tec if there’s not some sort of immoral experimentation going on, and sure enough this facsimile of a vault had all the requirements. Vault-Tec used the ride to experiment on visitors. After everything we’ve found in Vaults, you’d think I’d stop being surprised.

“You ask me, whole idea of these ‘Vaults’ was messed up,” Gage grumbled as we walked through. “Sure, stick me underground with no control over anything... What could go wrong?”

“You would have made a fascinating specimen for some of the horrific experiments I’ve seen,” Holmes muttered.

Gage frowned, “I don’t know if that was an insult or not, so I’m gonna keep my mouth shut this time. But if—”

Whatever threat was lined up got cut off by the protectrons on display coming to life.

We fought our way through the park, explored the nooks and crannies of every ride and exhibit until we’d collected a hefty haul of star cores. Once we were back at the Star Control, Holmes loaded them into the panels. There were only a few empty spots left, and that was more than enough for our purposes.

“There,” Holmes announced as he accessed the terminal again. “The robots have been taken off defense mode.”

“Good,” Gage said. “Means they won’t cause any trouble for whatever gang gets this place, right?”

“Yes.” Holmes kept neutral.

“So which is it gonna be?”

“I hadn’t given it much thought.”

Gage rolled his eyes, “Well start thinkin’, boss. Sooner you hoist a flag, the sooner we can get back to Nuka-Town and get ready for the next park.”

Holmes thought for a moment. He rifled through the pack of flags and pulled out a tattered sheet with a red knife crossing four black blades painted in the middle. As he headed up one of the ramps to the second floor of the building, Gage laughed, “Shit, the Disciples? Really? Figured you’d be more fond of the Operators.”

I was frowning as Holmes came back down. He gestured that we leave. The three of us got moving, Gage leading the way back to town. “Disciples?” I asked in a low voice.

“To paraphrase something Gage said earlier, raiders aren’t good with technology. I don’t imagine the Disciples will find much relief for their bloodlust in fighting robots.”

“Unless they make the robots fight other people.”

“That’s something the Pack might attempt, but not the Disciples. They enjoy getting their own hands dirty too much. And if any of these raiders could figure out how to use the Star Control system, I imagine it would be the Operators.”

“So you gave it to the gang that would get the least use and satisfaction out of it.”

He nodded.

I smiled, just a little.

[biglittlesshop]

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Yesterday was a busy day of meetings and airplane travel for peter and connor but last night peter took some time to share his thoughts on the passing of the great christopher lee christopher lee was the tallest actor I ever knew he was also by far the most literate when we first met in a los angeles studio where he was recording his lines as king haggard in the last unicorn he had just recorded haggard’s speech about his first sight of unicorns and I mentioned that it was probably my favorite speech in the book he immediately wanted to know well did I do it properly we can always redo it right here of course he’d handled the lines perfectly but writers and writers’ opinions about their work mattered intensely to christopher that same afternoon we discovered that between the two of us we we could call to mind just about all the lines of g k chesterton’s poem the rolling english road we also discovered a mutual need to hit the men’s room and my son dan in his mid teens at the time still has a very clear memory of christopher simultaneously peeing while declaiming in that voice which no one could ever keep from imitating after fifteen minutes with him before the roman came to rye or out to severn strode the rolling english drunkard made the rolling english road a reeling road a rolling road that rambled round the shire and after him the parson ran the sexton and the squire I leave it to the reader to imagine that voice in the tiled acoustics of a hollywood bathroom we met a second time in munich where the last unicorn was being dubbed into german most of my memories of that time and of chris lee have to do with books and authors he had known both j r r tolkien and a writer who mattered more to me t h white we had a long ongoing argument in munich about a chapter of the sword in the stone that appears in the english edition of the book but not in the american one he turned out to be right he usually was he never failed to mention the last unicorn as one of his very favorite books and as one of the movies he was most proud of having made indeed he left my whopperjawed as mark twain would have put it when we were being interviewed together on austrian television and he announced oh yes I simply couldn’t resist a chance to play king haggard one more time even in another language after all and he looked straight into the camera it’s the closest they’ll ever let me get to playing king lear the camera swung toward me to catch my stunned reaction and chris looked across the studio at me and winked but my most vivid memory chilling as it remains to this day has to do with the day that I and michael chase walker associate producer of the last unicorn and the one who really got the film made in the first place somehow found our way out to dachau I can’t now recall how we managed it considering that neither one of us spoke german and that you had to take both a subway and a bus to get there from the hotel where the crew were staying but we got there somehow and spent a good half of the day roaming with other tourists around a legendary concentration camp peering blindly into the huge crematoriums but staring with equal horror and fascination at the endless rows of filing cabinets containing every record of every human being who was ever imprisoned starved gassed or simply worked to death in this place michael and I grew quieter and quieter that afternoon until by the time we started back to munich we weren’t speaking at all I think we both felt that we might say anything in words again the first person we met in the hotel lobby was christopher he took one look at us and announced you’ve been to dachau we nodded without answering chris strode toward us looked all the way down from his six foot five inch altitude lowered his voice and inquired still smells doesn’t it with the end of world war ii christopher as a member of the special forces and whose five or six languages included fluent german had been assigned to hunt down and interrogate nazi war crminals and had been present at the liberation of dachau and yes the smell of death had undoubtedly faded somewhat since 1945 but it was still as real as michael and me wandering dazedly between the ovens and the filing system we just didn’t know what it was but christopher did and i’d know it again I never saw him again after munich though we spoke on the telephone a few times on the last occasion when I had called to wish him a happy 90th birthday I remember him assuring me that if by the time you come to make your live action version of your movie I have passed on do not let it concern you I have risen from the dead several times I know how it’s done he worked almost to the last as the real artists of every kind do they work to be working because that’s what they do and they die when they stop I always regarded him as the last of the great 19th century actors that bravura larger than life style went with him no modern rada trained performer would ever attempt it today nor should they it would inevitably come out parody however earnestly meant yet there was always more to christopher lee as an actor than dracula or the mummy or saruman or sherlock holmes for that matter though he was very proud of having played not only both holmes and watson but sherlock’s brother mycroft as well lord summerisle of the original the wicker man probably his favorite of his own movies is most likely closer to chris’s dark benignity than any other role he ever inhabited I believe this because lord summerisle sings a surprising amount in that movie and chris passionately loved singing if there is any such thing as an afterlife or reincarnation I truly hope no believe that christopher lee will return as a wagnerian opera singer if he hadn’t been considered too old in his 30s to be accepted for formal vocal training he might have been in his own eyes at least a happier more fulfilled man but we would have been deeply poorer for it and never have known See Other related 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[doomedandstoned]

Konvent Debut Neck-Breaking Death Doom Masterpiece

~By Willem Verhappen~

It's not often that I'm impressed by a demo, but every so often Bandcamp treats me to something special, a diamond in the rough. It was only last year that I came across the 2017 demo of Danish death doomers , but it stuck with me. This demo promised me a good mix of stuff I like, namely nasty death doom with some catchy stoner hooks molded into it. Just listen to "Square" to see what I mean. I'm happy to say that I wasn't the only one impressed by the demo, because Austrian metal merchants Napalm Records once again prove that they have an ear for talent, picking up Konvent and releasing their debut record, 'Puritan Masochism' (2020).

Listening to Puritan Masochism makes it clear that these women have developed their sound quite a bit in the last couple of years. The stoner influences are pushed to the background. What remains is crushing, relentless death doom. Straight forward, no-nonsense, hard hitting metal in its purest form, but with a keen sense of melody.

By the time you've reached the third track, "Trust," anyone who says they're not hooked on the riffs, is lying. If you're more a fan of the really heavy death metal, "World of Gone" will serve you well. Musically, I keep comparing Konvent to the slower Dutch death metal bands like Asphyx and Grand Supreme Blood Court. Heidi Withington Brink (bass) and Julie Simonsen (drums) deliver a pounding, sluggish base, while Sara Helena Nørregaard adds an extra dimension with her thriving, faster guitar work.

Rikke Emilie List's grunts are the (rotten) cherry on top. This woman has a set of pipes that would make many of her colleagues blush. Her vocals alternate between growls similar to those of Nick Holmes and the sub-bass grunts you'd expect on a Demilich record. On the stomping "Waste," List gets some help from Morild's Tue Krebs Roikjer, who throws some black metal screams in the mix.

While I consider this record more of a death metal record with doom influences, this is changes during the two-parter "Ropes." In the first part, the band is leaning more towards black metal, with dissonant melodies and some much needed air to breathe. "Ropes Pt. II" is by far the most dynamic song on Puritan Masochism, mixing death doom with faster parts, sounding almost like post metal, but dirtier. Much dirtier. With this the band proves that there's more to Konvent than just death and doom.

In their promo sheet, Napalm blatantly states that Copenhagen might become the new death doom capital, and while that might be a bit much, I can't deny that Konvent is a force to be reckoned with. It's not often I find a straight forward death doom record that manages to grab me from beginning to end, without being over 20 years old, but this is one of them. Up until now, I associated Denmark mostly with Mercyful Fate and Lego, but you can add Konvent to that list.

An interview with Sara from Konvent

First of all, thank you for this interview. 'Puritan Masochism' (2020) has been out for a couple of weeks now. How are the reactions so far?

Hi! And thank you so much for wanting to talk to us. Yeah, Puritan Masochism has been out since 24th January and we just finished our tour in Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Germany.

We’ve been overwhelmed with the attention our album is getting and it’s really exciting to see how people are reacting to it. The reactions have been really good and we couldn’t think of a better reception of the album. Of course it’s a matter of taste whether you like it or not, and we know that our album isn’t for all. But seeing so many people coming to our shows in cities or countries we have never been before, and people actually buying our vinyls and merchandise just makes us so happy and gives us the desire to keep on going.

Since this is our debut album we already got a lot of new ideas for the second album and we actually see this very much as a learning process where we are able to evolve over time. There has also been a lot of people wanting to talk to us and interview us, and we really haven't seen that coming to such an extent. But people have been really nice and it’s always fun to meet people. So we’re happy!

Puritan Masochism by Konvent

There’s quite a gap between your demo and your debut record and it’s clear you’ve grown as a band. Can you tell us a bit about what has been going on in the past three years?

Thank you so much! The first year we pretty much spent on getting to know our instruments and each other, but we quickly started working on our own material, and the demo that came out in 2017 was a result of that. Then we played a lot of shows around Denmark and that really helped us grow as musicians and as a group. During all these shows we were also working on songs for a debut album, but it was a very slow process. It wasn’t until after we got on Napalm Records, that we really stepped it up and got to finish it.

At the same time, it was also important to do it in our way and not let ourselves be pressured of someone else expectations to us. The demo was a big learning curve for us regarding our sound. It just expanded our minds on how creative we could get with the sound. This really helped us when we went into the studio with Lasse Ballade from Ballade Studios to record our debutalbum, because we spent a long time tweaking the sound of the instruments and putting small things in here and there. And Lasse was imminent in making the sound of the album! He is a beast at what he does and was such a treat to work with. I think this gap between our demo and the album reflects a lot of what many other bands are “struggling” with as well.

On the one hand, you really want to get out and play as many gigs as possible, but on the other hand you also want to prioritize making some great songs - and sometimes it can be difficult to achieve it all. It takes time. We also had many people asking us why we didn’t put some of the demo songs on the album. But we really wanted to make new songs, because some of the demo songs were from 2016 and we felt like we had evolved as musicians. So we knew we could make even better songs if we just pushed ourselves.

Demo by Konvent

What were your inspirations, both musical and lyrical for the record?

Our album isn’t a concept album, but if you were to put a theme on it, or around the lyrics of the songs it would basically be losing control over your life.

The song "Puritan Masochism" -- which is also the title of the album -- is about how everyone has a tendency to do things, or thinking things that actually hurt us, but we keep thinking/doing those things because we feel we have to, in order to fit into something or to live up to some imagined expectations. And sometimes we keep doing these things without even realizing it because you just go on autopilot. It’s sort of our way to say that we don’t have to live like that.

But our inspiration comes from everyday life experiences, both ups and downs, but mostly downs. Musically we all have a lot of different genres that we like. Julie likes hardcore and punk and Rikke likes tech death. So we all drag different genres and styles into the rehearsal place and it just goes on from there.

Your music has quite an old school vibe to it. Was that intentional?

We really wanted that raw, gritty sound, as if the music is coming from the abyss! And that’s why we chose to work with Lasse Ballade, because he had made a bunch of cool records that we really admired. Also, we don’t like too many guitar solos and a lot of effects and that was important to us when we picked our producer.

We never sat down and decided to play death doom. The only thing we talked about from the beginning, was to play heavy music with an evil sound and growling vocals. So after the first rounds of rehearsals where we were playing covers, we quickly felt like just playing something of our own. And we just jumped head first in there and made riffs before we even knew exactly what we were doing. I don’t think we knew in the beginning that the songs we were making sounded doomy and old school like and it wasn’t until other people heard it that the genre doom came up. We remember having to write something about our music before our first show in 2016 and just not knowing what to write. So we had to get people in, to get their opinion on it. We've also been compared to some bands that we didn't even know before -- we just play the music we feel like.

Your agenda appears to be quite empty so far. Can we expect to see you on tour again soon?

We just finished our Puritan Masochism Tour with 10 gigs in Denmark, Sweden, Norway and Germany. And we’re going to London and Oslo this month also. We also have some festival gigs for this summer. It’s a pretty big thing for us, when we’re able to go to new places or countries, we have never been before.

We are still a very young band that not a lot of people know of, so we’re actually really happy about our agenda this far. We’ve played at Roskilde Festival and Copenhell, which is the two biggest festivals in Denmark. And to see our first single “Puritan Masochism” on YouTube get so many views is crazy to us, too. Regarding people showing up to shows and buying merch, we’ve always been pretty lucky. People are really good at coming out early to see us and eager to support us in the merch booth, so that is a huge thing for us.

Of course, we would really like to go on bigger tours and play more festivals, as long as it can work out financially. And we are steadily getting more offers, so that’s really exciting! Our booker Thorsten, from Napalm Events is handling all our offers, but we often get messages directly from bookers who want to put on a show with us and then we just direct it to him. And, yes, we have more plans for 2020, but we can’t tell anymore at this moment, sorry!

Your label states that Copenhagen might become the next death doom capital. Do you agree? Are there any death doom or doom bands from your local scene that we should keep an eye on??

That’s a big statement! But there are so many great bands here in Copenhagen and the rest of Denmark. I don’t think that death/doom is the most popular genre here in Denmark. People tend to like it faster. But worth mentioning is the danish band Katla. We just played two gigs with them and they appear to do it pretty well on the Danish scene with a debut album to come in 2020. Otherwise we have bands like Alkymist, Bethmoora, Drukner, Dirt Forge and, of course, Saturnus.

The title 'Puritan Masochism' has a clear religious context. Is Denmark a religious country?

Not really. "Puritan Masochism" is the title for our first single from the album, as well, and it was the first track that was finished for it several years ago. The song is about how us humans have a tendency to put ourselves in situations where we don’t feel good enough. With this song we’re hoping that people will identify and question their habits of doing that. We felt like this would be a great album title because it was something we really resonated with. We did not think of it in a religious context.

Once again, thank you for your time. Any last words for our readers?

Thank you so much and thank you for wanting to interview us! Hopefully we’ll see you at a show at some point. And thank you to all the people out there listening to our music and buying our stuff. This means the world to us.

Follow The Band

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[shooting-the-walls]

I watched His Last Vow, and, well..... here are my thoughts again

Quick thing before we start: I choose HLV because it is one of my favourite episodes, and what I feel is one of the best shot episodes. Usually, I can't make it to the end of it because I know what is going to happen and I can't stomach it. Anyway, enjoy my little angst-filled monologue!!!

• Uggggghhhhhh Magnussen is so creepy even to start with

• Quick question: why the fuck does he have "porn preference" in his little file?? Creepy, dude. Real creepy

• I hate Magnussen with a passion but ngl his house is pretty bomb

• Why has a got a statue of a knight on an ostrich, and why does the camera focus on it? Kinda random XD

• Clever how they never show him going down the stairs the storeroom. IMPORTANT LATER ON

• Lady Magnussen when she sees Magnussen: *quietly* what the fuck

• "She looked delicious" "yum-yum": EEUURRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH

• "I have a condition": is that condition.... being a creepy weirdo???

• HEY SHE MAY BE AN OLD LADY BUT SHE'S A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN SO SHUT THE FUCK UP MAGNUSSEN

• "This isn't blackmail it is.... ownership": uhhhhhh, pretty sure it's blackmail mate

• I'M SORRY BUT WE DON'T JUST LICK PEOPLE'S FACES, WHO WERE YOU RAISED BY DUDE

• The driver knowing something's up: we stan a king

• BAKER STREET YEAAAAAH BITCHES

• The intro mussssiiiiiccccc: it will now be stuck in my head for days XD

• When you miss your bestie: :(

• John being clueless XD

• *doesn't know what to do* *makes tea*

• "He the drugs one?" "Nicely put John"

• "Who's Sherlock Holmes" "See, that does happen"

• I think John feels bad for snapping at her XD

• "THERE IS NOTHING THE MATTER WITH ME. Imagine I said that without shouting": me 24/7

• Dude we know you tryna look sexy but the tyre lever XD

• "It is a tiny bit sexy" "I know": *is forcefully reminded of Boyle screaming "later sluts"*

• "I'm not just browsing": MATE IT'S NOT BLOODY ARGOS LOL

• Why is John so fucking cocky? Like we get you're an adrenaline junkie but Jesus XD

• JOHN BAMF WATSON IS HERE GUYS

• "Nope, just used to a better class of criminal": truth

• "Arse end of the universe with the scum of the earth": Jooooohn be nice

• Sherlock just so casual like " Oh HIIIII"

• "They're havin' a fight": Oh, like..... a married couple....?

• "WEll NoT nOW": we stan a queen XD

• "Alright Shezza?": *John and Mary Watson, Mycroft, Mrs Hudson, Molly and NSY have joined the chat*

• MOLLY YAAAAAAAS QUEEN PUT HIM IN HIS FACE

• "Just. Stop it."

• They are so concerned and Sherlock can't see it and I CAN'T

• "Just some guy" Sherlock: JOHN YOU DIDN'T *is suddenly more in love than ever*

• Sherlock: *hears what he sounds like* *ROLLS EYES*

• Billy knows what's going ON

• "Hang on, weren't there other people?"

• "I've got Mrs Hudson on semi-permanent mute"

• "Why do you do that": IT'S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU

• "Cross-dressing may have been a wiser path for you": Mycroft your uncle was a bloody QUEEN

• "foR GOD'S SAKE"

John: oh deary me

• The mardy lil "I'm just gonna sit in this chair"

• MYCROFT STOP TATTLING ON YOUR BROTHER

• Also the Holmes parents line dance: I feel like this fact is super underrated XD

• "Just look frightened and. Scuttle": I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

• "I think we'd both find that embarrassing": THE FACT THIS WAS AN IMPROVISATION MARTIN IS SUCH A FAB ACTOR

• "Okay, I'll let you know if I notice"

• "Don't appall me when I'm high": genuinely one of my favourite lines of the entire series

• "God no. Trying to recruit you": Sherlock knows his John so weeeeelllll

• "Stay out of my bedroom" John: *immediately goes for the bedroom*

• JANINE HEYYYYYYYYY

• "Sherl.....": John is having a fucking field day with the nicknames

• John's confused little face XD XD

• "You have a girlfriend" "Yes I have" *JOHN WATSON CANNOT COMPUTE*

• Damn they're starting with the aquarium shit early

• "You got that from a book" "Everyone got that from a book"

• I'm sorry but Sherlock Holmes acting straight it the weirdest thing EVER

• "Maybe I will....": OH GOD. If she knows "what he's really like" (ie gay), then she also knows how much he loves John (she was at the wedding), so she's basically saying "I'll tell him you're in love with him"

• John: OH YES. THIS. THIS IS SOME NICE CEILING. MMM. GOOD CEILING

• John is so hung up on dinner XD

• "With wine.... and sitting....": I love the idea that when Sherlock eats, he just walks around like munching on shit. Like John used to get out of the shower and when he opened the bathroom door Sherlock would be standing there rocking on his heels eating a scotch egg XD

• "It's in the fridge, it kept ringing": me as an adult

• John just being so armed

• OH GOD SHERLOCK YOU'RE SO DAMAGED LIKE SO MANY PRESSURE POINTS

• BITCH DON'T BRING UP REDBEARD

• Oi listen Magnussen you little bitch

• NO PLEASE DON'T

• Shut UP Magnussen: as a Brit I cannot condone what the fuck he's saying. I AM A PROUD BRIT

• WHYYY

• WHYYYYYYY ARE YOU PEEING IN THE FUCKING FIREPLACE: this is why Moriarty was better, the sweetie had manners

• "How do you know his schedule?" "Because I do"

• The fact that Sherlock's checked with Mary if John is available XD

• CAM news: OMG THE CAM LETTER FROM S3E2, it makes sense nowwww

• Sherlock is so good at pick-pocketing

• "...your head kicked in." "Do we really need so much colour?" "It passes the time"

• I'M SORRY HIS CUTE LIL FACE WITH THE RING BOOOXXXXX

• I am fully convinced Sherlock was pretending Janine was John when he made the proposal

• SHERLOCK YOU CAN'T GET ENGAGED TO BREAK INTO A FUCKING OFFICE

• SHERLLL BEING IN LOVE WITH YOU IS NOT HUMAN ERROR, PLS GET SOME SELF ESTEEM

• "Bit rude, I just proposed to her"

• Sherlock immediately knows something's going on

• "...white supremacist so who cares?": SHERLOCK YAAAAS

• "During our own burglary" aka "really u idiot"

• The fact he immediately dismisses Mary: HE'S SO SWEET HE DOESN'T WANT TO RUIN JOHN'S HAPPINESS

• OH MY GOD THE REVEAAAAAAAAAL

• That moment when he realised. He just realises. The deductions he ignored: they could have helped her

• NO MARY YOU SHOT HIM WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS

• I'M SORRY BUT SAYING YOU'RE SORRY DOESN'T RIGHT THIS

• The sirens: again, as I said, the way this episode is made is incredible

• People often remark on who turns up in his mind palace: I totally agree with the idea that the others are his heart, "and you should never let it rule your head"

• SHERLOCK CALLING HIMSELF STUPID IN HIS MIND PALACE OH SWEETIE NO

• The fact Anderson is there tho

• THE FACT THAT EVEN THE FLOWERS TILT JESUS THE DETAIL

• "Don't go into shock, obviously": woooooooow, thanks Mycroft

• Oh Redbeard, the sweet little dog: "They're putting me down too now"

• Oh come on, he was totally looking for John's room when he ran into Mary

• NO NOT THE PADDED ROOM

• You don't understand: I actually can't watch this scene. It freaks me out so much. It's so sad, and the acting is SO GOOD.

• "Pain. Heartbreak. Loss. Death.": I'm sorry, but isn't that everything Sherlock's been through with John almost?

• Magnussen: dude I ain't telling you who shot him

• "It's raining. It's pouring. Sherlock, is boring. I'm laughing. I'm crying. Sherlock, is dying": JESUS THIS SONG

• "Mrs Hudson will cry. And mummy and daddy will cry. And the woman will cry. And John will cry buckets and buckets. It's him I worry about the most. That wife..... John Watson is definitely in danger": THE FACT THAT THAT MAKES HIM COME BACK; I'm sorry but how can you deny Johnlock after that?? He literally COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD for John Watson. Also, note how he misses off Greg and Molly and Mycroft. He thinks they don't care but they do. They care so much, Sherlock.

• "Oh you're not getting better are you?"

• MARY STOP ACTING ALL FUCKING INNOCENT YOU FUCKING SHOT HIM

• "I'm buying a cottage": I mean why not

• The fact that they're fine with each other after insulting each other XD

• I maintain that Janine is Moriarty's secret sister

• "I have an interview with The One Show and I haven't made it up yet"

• "I know what kind of man you are. We could have been friends": AGAIN she totally knows he's gay

• The fact he's self-punishing by turning the morphine down MY BABY

• The fact Greg just wants a video XD: I still want a Special Features on one of the DVDs of "videos from Greg Lestrade's phone"

• Of COURSE Sherlock's broken out, what else were you expecting John?

• Mycroft's little hand gestures like "off you go peasant": we know you love Greg really Myc

• "...stalked him one night" "foLLOWED"

• YOU, JOHN. HE'S PROTECTING YOU YOU DIPSHIT

• The fact Sherlock went back to Baker Street, BLEEDING INTERNALLY, to put John's chair back <3<3<3

• "A façade. Remind you of anyone?"

• Of course you can't Sherlock XD

• The fact he won the house in a card game with a cannibal XD

• I love this scene. Everything just suddenly makes sense. Everything she's said suddenly has a different meaning

• "You were very slow": BECAUSE HE WAS IGNORING THE WARNING SIGNS SO HE DIDN'T WANT TO UPSET JOHN

• "Even Scotland Yard can get somewhere with that"

• I feel like Sherlock had a little bit of a panic when she pulled the gun out, because he KNOWS that John is sitting there and he can't lose John Watson

• She loves John but he loves John too.... too much man, too much

• She can barely turn: the fact she knows that she may have just lost John forever

• YAAAAS WE'RE AT THE HOLMES' GUYS

• "How is it only 2 o'clock, I am in agony"

• "Is this your laptop, Mycie?" "Upon which depends the security of the free world, yes, and you've got potatoes on it"

• "Am I happy, I haven't noticed?" *gets hit with cracker*

• MRS HOLMES WE STAN A QUEEN

• "Someone's put a bullet in my boy and if I ever find out who I will turn absolutely monstrous": *takes tea to said shooter*

• When the dad is the only sane one XD

• I think even Sherlock's dad can see how much his son is in love with John

• I'm sorry but the entirety of the first bit at the Holmes': I STAN IT GUYS

• "What exactly is the point of you!?"

• "What's going on" "Bloody good question": me in physics

• Jesus Mrs Hudson is right Sherlock does look bloody awful

• "...that's me by the way, hello": HE'S SO PROUD AND IT'S SO SWEET

• "IT WAS MY HUSBAND'S CARTEL, I was just typing"

• The fact he tells him to be calm: Sherlock KNOWS that he needs to calm John down to get this sorted out

• Mary, stop being sarcy with him he's tryna sort it out

• "Because you won't love me when you've finished, and I don't want to see that happen": I mean she's not my favourite but I still feel so sorry for her

• "Look at you two: you should've got married": Sherlock: OH BABY NOT MY GAY ASS

• See, Sherlock SAYS that the reason Mary didn't kill him was because John would be part of the murder investigation, but I think it's because she's already seen what Sherlock's death would do to John: she's seen him crying at the grave, seen him drunk and screaming for Sherlock to come back, seen him unable to even walk past St Barts without seeing Sherlock hitting the ground over and over and over again, and she knows she can't do that to him again

• Paramedics: yo we here

• "She shot you" "ehhhhh mixed messages"

• "The problems are your past are your business. The problems of your future are my privilege": GET YOURSELF A MAN LIKE JOHN WATSON

• "You can mow the sodding lawn from now on": the fact John uses his wife's secret identity to get out of chores is such a mood XD

• When your mother catches you smoking: Mycroft: nope wasn't me Sherlock: *immediately blames his brother*

• "Your loss would break my heart" "what the HELL am I supposed to say to that": brotherly feeeeeeeeeeeels

• "Go and have some more": AWWW YOU LOVE HIM REALLY

• Dr Watson voice is baaaack

• Awwww at least he checks they're all still breathing XD

• "You can imagine the Christmas dinners".... GUYS THE OMENS CAME TRUE

• I love the idea that Sherlock just waltzed into Angelo's like "yo can I have a table", and Angelo DIDN'T EVEN QUESTION what he was wearing or the fact he was hooked up to morphine, just said "yoooo, I got your table sorted" and brought him food XD

• The constant flashbacks in this episode are so effective, cos they really bloody fit in

• "My brother": *literally delivers a drugged Mycroft all wrapped up with a little bow on top* "WELL I DIDN'T LIE"

• "Oh yeah we could be imprisoned for high treason btw": Sherlock stop you idiot

• "But it's Christmas!"

• "WHY WOULD I BRING MY GUN!?!!?!?!" "Coat pocket?" "YES"

• "But look how you care about John Watson": even MAGNUSSEN knows guys

• Awwwww Mycroft's pressure point is Sherlock, that's kinda sweet

• You've gotta admit Magnussen's logic is pretty sound

• "I enjoy it": yeah but you're a sadistic maniac, mate, you don't enjoy normal things

• He must have half the fucking Eden Project in his house XD

• Ooooo THE VAULTS ARE A MIND PALACE: big reveaaaaaaaaaal

• Sherlock's little look down: it's as if he's chastising himself, telling himself he should have know

• "I don't understand" "You should put that on a t-shirt": JOHN WATSON T-SHIRT SAGA #2, PART 1

• "Sherlock do we have a plan?" *silence*

• "I still don't understand" "And there's the back of the t-shirt": JOHN WATSON T-SHIRT SAGA #2, PART 2

• When Magnussen makes John let him flick his face: Sherlock can't even WATCH. He's just standing there, staring at the floor, still questioning why he didn't see it

• I mean I'm sorry but the murderous little glint in Sherlock's eyes when Magnussen is flicking John: he knows there's nothing he can do, but then he also knows what he's about to do. And he knows that John is going to hate it, but it's the only way to keep Mary safe

• THE LOVING LOOK AT JOHN JESUS CHRIST I CAN'T

• "MERRY CHRISTMAS" *bang*: JESUS SHERLOCK NO

• Mycroft sounds so panicked, like "no please don't shoot him"

• "Tell her she's safe now": THEN. That was the moment John realised. The moment he realised who he was really in love with

• All Mycroft can see is his crying, upset and scared little brother AND I CAN'T

• "You know what happened to the other one": OOOOOOO

• "There is no prison where we can incarcerate Sherlock without him causing a riot on a daily basis": dis be true guys

• SHERLOCK MAKES MARY LOOK AFTER JOHN I CAAAAAAN'T

• The fact that all acceptingly walk away, like they know what Sherlock is gonna try to do

• "The game is never over, John. There are just new players": SHERL STOP

• "6 months, my brother estimates. He's never wrong": he KNOWS he's gonna die

• The fact he can't even tell John just shows something, doesn't it

• "John there's something I need to say. Something I've always meant to say but never have. Since it's unlikely that we'll ever meet again, I might as well say it now": we all wanted it. We all wanted him to say it. Even JOHN had the hopeful little look in his eyes....

• "Sherlock is actually a girl's name": BUT HE CHICKENS OUT AT THE LAST SECOND. You can just see the disappointment and upset in his face, even on the plane, knowing that he may not see John again and John still doesn't know

• "Did you miss me?": MORIARTY YES WE STAN A QUEEN

• "You're needed": the lil panic cos he knows his OD isn't gonna work

• "Who needs me" "....England": yeah, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are screwed XD

[peter-parkers-underoos]

Last Name Beck pt.1

Peter Parker x Beck!reader

ENDGAME SPOILERS!!! SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME SPOILERS!!!

seriously... SPOILERS

also this is only MY interpretation since the movie isn’t even out yet. i did all my research so leave me be!!

Synopsis: You and your father were transported to a separate earth in result of Iron Mans “snap.” Nick Fury explained this all- and he said you would need help from a brilliant man to get back home. What he didn’t explain was that the man who seemingly would be taking over Iron Mans legacy was a boy your age. You know how your father can be and you can see something off with this Peter Parker character- like he’s mentally sore from recent events. What better reason to ward off your father's illusions with the promise of keeping a young Spider-Boy safe?

Warnings: cussing, mentions of endgame, angst (in future chapters >:))

Words: 1601

A/N: HAHAHHAAHHA i hope it’s obvious who the reader's father lol. also pulled that synopsis outta my ass- as always. anyways enjoy. this is only part one.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Your father isn’t who they think he is. He’s not some monster who’s only wish is to be famous. He’s not a bad guy. But he’s also not a good guy. You know, more than anyone, what he’s capable of. What illusions he’s got up his sleeve and just how far he’ll go to get the eyes on him.

That’s why you’re with him now. Not to help him- but to stop him. You don’t know who he’ll hurt on this earth. And the last thing you want is more casualties under his belt. He is your father after all.

You had a great deal of respect for him. You thought of him as ambitious and confident. But you’ve learned he’s more than that- you just can’t tell if what’s under the surface shows that he has a good heart or a speck of something greedy and more dirt ridden.

“This is Mr Beck.” You directed your attention the man you met earlier, Nick Fury. He was talking to a younger boy who was now talking to your father, Quentin Beck. They were giving him the rundown. The whole ‘Iron Mans snap tore a hole in this very delicate metaphysical object that divides our worlds and created a multiverse’ thing. And if your father was lying about this “snap” tearing a hole in the dimension, you weren't aware.

Thinking about whether this was all an illusion painted in a fucked up picture by your father made you shift uncomfortably in your seat. You brought one knee up to place under your chin and hugged your leg for comfort.

The younger boy looked around the room and you followed his gaze. He didn’t seem to want to be here. Something you two had in common. When his eyes landed on you, the tips of your fingers felt a slight electric shock.

“Uh- Hi I’m Peter… Barker- Parker. Beter Parker. Peter- Spider-Man.” You couldn’t help but grin. His uncoordinated and gawky demeanour held a soft spot in your heart. He reminded you… of a dog of some sorts. A puppy. One very nervous cute puppy.

“This is my daughter-” Quentin began.

“Y/N Beck.” You finished. The corners of Peters' mouth curled up into a small smile. His floppy brown hair framed his face well, and his deep-set eyes were relaxed. In a way he made you feel like you were home again. “Spider-Man huh?” You picked up your head and dropped your leg so you could fully stand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to- um- meet you... too.” A few moments of silence went by before he let out a soft ‘oh’ and held his hand out for you to shake. You gladly shook his hand and chuckled while doing so.

“No need to be nervous, kid,” Nick said as you let go of Peters' hand. Fury smacked the inept boys shoulder and walked over beside you. “In a way, she’s just like you.” Parker tilted his head somewhat and squinted. The way his eyes creased made you assume that he doesn’t meet a lot of kids his age who have powers.

“I’m guessing you’ve got superpowers or whatever right?” You asked as you crossed your arms. You grazed your eyes down his chest to see the crimson suit holding a nice spider symbol in between his chest bone. “You turn into a spider or something?” His mouth opened and then shut and he let out a breathy laugh.

“Uh no actually. I mean kinda- No not kinda. I sort of am a spider. Well, it’s hard to explain-” Nick grabbed Peters wrist and pointed it at the ceiling, pressing something on his palm. A thin line of web shot from his wrist and attached itself to the cement above us.

“Holy shit- That isn’t coming out of you is it?” Peter shook off Nicks' hand and twisted his wrist so he could easily grab the string. He smirked and pushed himself off the ground with his feet so that he could flip and land on the ceiling.

“Nope.” He said from his place upside down. You walked forward as he detached himself from the roof and turned right side up just in time to land on his heels.

“Brilliant! It’s like you’ve made yourself some kind of- of synthetic web fluid-”

“With their own corresponding web-shooters.” You reached out for his hand and turned it over so you could inspect the gadget fastened to his suit. “What can you do?” You looked up and felt yourself blush.

“Um, n-nothing too special.”

“Yeah right.” Your father spoke up. “Her mind works over two-thousand percent faster than any normal human beings- which gives her the ability to process battle strategies quicker-”

“Not always about battle strategies, dad.” You let go of Peters' hand and looked to your father.

“Still extremely intelligent.” He combated back.

“But I often get wicked headaches.” You looked to him and then to Nick as he began to speak too.

“I think they’re forgetting to mention the fact that she can manipulate the space-time continuum.” Fury butted in. You looked to Peter who had a shocked look plastered on his face.

“My mind works so fast that the atoms around me make the most sense when aligned in the form of an-… well like an Einstein-Rosen bridge.” You tried to explain.

“I bet she could even open a wormhole with no end to it.” Nick looked to the computers as a small beeping noise occurred.

“It’s hypothetically possible, but as I just said… hypothetical.” Peter licked his bottom lip and nodded. He looked at you like a deer caught in headlights as Nick made his way to the computers where there was another woman working. You didn’t quite catch her name, but she obviously knew what she was doing.

“That’s… so… badass.” Peter quickly wiped his mouth, in case he was drooling, and turned his head straight. “Uh so does your mind thingy make you- like- Sherlock Holmes or something?” You laughed loudly and covered your mouth to try and stop yourself from being too loud.

“You know what? Maybe.” Peter beamed as your laughing fit slowly subsided.

“Looks like we’ve got trouble.” Fury gritted his teeth. “Been here less than a week, Parker, and you’ve managed to get the attention of every goddamn villain in the multiverse.” You walked over to Nick to look at the monitors scattered across the table. Red dots blinked around the city and you sighed. “Good news though.”

“What good news could you possibly have- unless you tell me that I can go back to my hotel and enjoy the rest of my trip.” Peter walked up beside you and crossed his arms. You looked at him and took in his figure. You couldn’t imagine doing this kind of work on your own- you always had your father. You wondered if maybe he had someone like that in his life.

“Well, you got part of that right. The bastard closest to us is right outside your hotel.”

“Shit.” Parker groaned and threw his head down. “Then I better get going.” He uncrossed his arms and turned to leave.

“Wait a minute Spider-Kid- but the good news was that I’m sure if you ask nicely, Beck and his daughter just might help you get rid of these dimension travelling assholes.” Peter fidgeted with his mask in his hands and looked to you and your father.

“You wouldn’t mind would you?” He asked shyly and your father cleared his throat.

“Why not? You need all the help you can get.” You teased and grabbed your armoured gloves from the table.

“Hey-”

“No offence kid but the evil on our world is more complicated than the evil on yours.” Your father patted Peter on the shoulder and walked towards the exit.

“Be careful.” Nick said, directing his attention to the monitor again.

“When am I not careful.” Peter jogged himself over next to your dad.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Nick looked up from his computer and locked eyes with you. “Was I?” You swallowed thickly and glanced at the floor. When you turned you were met with the confused features of Peter.

“I’m just… clumsy.” You joked with a smile and formed your hands into fists. He stared at you- seemingly not believing you. He had every right to. You were this mysterious random girl from a different earth and you both haven’t even worked with one another.

Peter still stared and you bit your lip. He’s suspicious. He should be. So are you.

“Keep staring. I might do a trick.” You quipped. You took your fists and pulled them up in front of you. Peter, once again, turned his head to the side like a curious puppy as you hit the bottom of your right hand with the top of your left. You broke your hands away from each other and spread out your fingers, which made a medium sized searing hole in front of you. The edges of the hole on the ground were sparkly like firecrackers and you made a ‘tik tik’ sound with your tongue and the roof of your mouth.

To make sure you knew where you were going you took one last two-second glance at the monitor.

“See you on the other side, boys.” You lifted your dominant hand next to your face and gave the two boys by the exit a small wave, still continuing to wave and smile as you walked calmly over the edge- descending into the dark depths of the wormhole you had just created.

[random-princess-drabbles]

I Need A Drink (Sherlock x Wife!Reader) - Just Two Sociopaths Series

Summary: Set a little after the first episode (1 x 1). Y/N comes back from a mission and hasn’t seen Sherlock in 4 months, John still hasn’t met you, and he was really surprised to met you...

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this series, please give the other one a look! Find it under the hashtag #2sociopaths 

I. Hate. Flying. Especially after a mission. A long mission at that. Having to leave the country for 4 months was bad enough, with no ways of communicating to the outside world, but sitting in a plane for 18 hours was the worse. How does Mycroft expect me to sit tight for that long, after months of action and mayhem?

I walked out of the airport gate, coat in hand and heels clinking on the tiles, ready to head to the new flat Sherlock had got. You both had been meaning to move out of your crowded flat months ago, but thankfully the mission made it easier for Sher to move out.

"Mrs. Holmes," a man said as I approached the door. Relieved of the prospect of not calling a cab, I nodded at him and followed him to the black Lincoln parked on the road. Sliding in the back of the car, I began getting anxious to see Sherlock. It had been too long without seeing him and I couldn't deny my excitement.

The car stopped in front of a small café, and the chauffer opened the door, leading me to a black door with the numbers 221 on it. The door was opened by an older woman wearing an apron, someone I hadn’t expected to see in years. “Mrs. Hudson?” I asked while the older lady jumped to hug me. “Oh! Y/N!” she ushered me in, pushing me towards the stairs that were in front of the door, “it’s been so long! Sherlock never told me you were going to be here!”

“That sounds like him.” I sighed while walking up the stairs, the chauffer still trailing behind me with my luggage. Since I was still being pulled by Mrs. Hudson, I couldn’t really pay attention to anything around me. Sherlock had probably taken up the older woman’s favor after they had ensured her husband’s execution. “This way, dearie,” she said pulling her past a kitchen, “this is Sherlock’s room.”

“You can leave the luggage out here, and you may go,” I called back to the young man, almost forgetting that he was there, “thank you Mrs. Hudson, I appreciate the hospitality.” She scoffed and hugged me again, claiming that she had to be thankful for what we had done years ago. “I’ll bring you a cuppa.” The older woman left the room, leaving me to stare around the room. Nothing had changed, Sherlock had posted his periodic table on the wall, my painting of a skull was placed on top of the dresser and other trinkets that we had collected over the years.

There was a rustle coming from the living room, causing my attention to shift. My slight excitement took over, and I ran out of the room, only to find myself face to face with another man. He was short and blonde, and clearly surprised of my presence. He was carrying grocery bags and clearly lived in the apartment. “Uh…” the man began, looking to the door, as if he were expecting someone to come in, “can I help you with something ma’am?”

His eyes continued to dart towards the door. Before I could ask him who he was or what he was doing here, a man walked through the door. This man I recognized. Sherlock wasn’t looking my way, staring at the other man as well, until he finally directed his eyes towards me. His eyes widen slightly, only enough for me to see, and I ran.

I jumped on top of him, causing him to tumble slightly, holding onto my waist as I wrapped my legs around his torso. Although he hated displays of affections, I loved them. Especially if I could make him flustered. “Y/N,” he said in my ear, still holding on, “I see that your mission went well.” I looked at his face, and placed my hands on his face, kissing his nose, “of course it did!” He groaned in slight disgust of the affection, making me laugh.

I suddenly felt myself falling, as Sherlock let me go without warning. I landed on my feet slightly wobbling and heard a cough from behind. “So, uh, who is this?” the man said, looking between Sherlock and I, shocked by our display. Sherlock was still somewhat flustered and waving his hand around, as if he were giving permission to speak. “Hello,” I said while walking forward, putting my hand out, “my name is Y/N Holmes.”

His face was even more confused, looking back at Sherlock, “you didn’t tell me you had a… sister?” His voice became strained, as he was clearly trying to think about your relationship logically. He really knew Sherlock if he assumed a familiar relationship rather than a romantic one. I laughed slightly, causing him to stare at me again, “do we look alike?” The man looked agape and continued to stare at me, now looking at my whole presence. “Well, no,” he said sheepishly.

“That’s because we are not related,” I said walking towards Sherlock again, slipping my arm around his waist, “we’re married.” Sherlock moved forward while sighing, out of my reach and sat in his chair. “I’m sorry, did you say married?” the man said dropping the groceries and walking towards my husband. He waved his hand, most likely already bored of the conversation. “I asked you if you were in a relationship!” the blonde said while staring straight at the detective. “You asked if I had a girlfriend or boyfriend,” he answered in monotone, “not a wife.”

The man was left speechless and turned to me, “how are you married? He hates people!” I laughed and before I could answer Sherlock spoke, “she is hardly a person John, wait till you get to know her.” I gasped before walking up to him and swatting his arm, “well that’s rude, I haven’t seen you in four months, that’s how you treat me. I was expecting flowers and a honeymoon suite,” I looked to John, as Sherlock had finally given up his name, “but you are right, he hates people. Which makes me wonder why he likes you.”

John’s head titled slightly, catching his own paradox, but his confusion didn’t last too long. “Hold on. Four months?” he questioned you, “where have you been?” Sherlock peeked up in interest, as he also didn’t know much about your mission. “I was in Argentina,” I said in a bore, “I had a mission down there.” Sherlock hummed in acknowledgement before grabbing your left wrist, allowing John to peak at your wedding ring, “that explains the tan lines, and humid smell. You’ve stopped wearing your favorite perfume.” You took back your wrist and rolled your eyes, of course he would notice that.

“Um, mission? Are you military?” John asked wearily, knowing that private military intelligence often had mission in foreign countries. “I work for Mycroft,” I answered, “I’m sure you’ve met him.” John nodded his head in understanding, “so, you’re MI6?” Sherlock snickered and jumped up, trying to find something interesting to focus on. “I never said that,” I smirked while my eyes followed my husband. The blonde man looked puzzled, not understanding what job I could possibly hold.

“I clean up Mycroft’s messes,” I said finally looked back at John. A look of comprehension passed by his face and he nodded, clearly not wanting to ask more. “Um, Sherlock. How can you, no offense Y/N, be married?” The man in question groaned, obviously getting more and more bored by the second, “are we still talking about this?” John lifted his hands up flustered, and looking to me for help. I shrugged, as if saying that this was between the both of them, Sherlock had to fix his friendship.

“Also, what do you mean she isn’t human?” John asked enraged, clearly more confused that he would address me in that manner, causing me to laugh. “She is a lot like me, only murderous, wouldn’t you agree dear,” Sherlock said lightly, with almost a hint of humor. I scoffed and walked to the kitchen, if I were going to listen to this conversation, I need a cup of tea. Wasn’t Mrs. Husdon going to bring me one?

“Mur- Murderous?” I heard John say as I ruffled through the cabinets looking for tea. “Don’t worry, John,” I said now looking for a mug, “not for sport.” This clearly didn’t make him feel better as all I heard was silence. I turned back around and only to see Sher smirking and a very wide-eyed John. I rolled my eyes and placed the stuff I found on the table, “what did you think when I said I cleaned Mycroft’s messes, darling?”

John’s mouth went agape, almost looking like a fish. “So are you…?” John said trying to piece things together, while Sherlock continued to stare a me, enjoying his discomfort. “A psychopath?” I finished for him, as he didn’t know what to say, “I like to think of myself as eccentric, but I suppose that works too.” John whipped around to Sherlock, who was staring straight at me. “You didn’t want to tell me you married a bloody psychopath? No offense,” he added quickly, making me giggle again. “Don’t worry Johnny, I’m merely an assassin for hire getting her kicks through that.” John whipped around to stare at me, nodding slightly, “I’m… going to go get a drink, I need to process this,” he walked past me and grabbed his coat, “nice to meet you Y/N.”

Once the door closed, I looked back at my husband, who hadn’t stopped staring at me. “Did you have to make it that dramatic?” I walked to him and ruffled his hair, causing him to grab my wrist. “It’s only the truth,” he said while his hand went to playing with my fingers, “he would have found out eventually.” I hummed in agreement, relishing the little contact he was giving, I had been without him for too long. “Since we are alone…” I began while placing my arms around his neck, “and it has been 4 months. Alone and bored, for four months…”

Sherlock looked down at me, his eyes a little more playful than when John had been here. I understood that he was embarrassed to have full physical contact in front of anyone, but he really changed when we were alone. “How boring,” he said, pushing my hands off, smirking at my misery. “You’re really going to leave a girl hanging Mr. Holmes?” I questioned smugly, hands on my hips. “Oh, no Mrs. Holmes,” he said without turning to face me, walking towards the bedroom, “I can assure you that we’ll be having an exciting time.”

I laughed and ran to him, jumping on his back, causing him to chuckle slightly. “Come on wife,” he said closing the door with his foot, “show me just how bored you were.”

More from the series: (1) (2)